“Erythra Thalassa” by Annette Libeskind Berkovits

A mother recounts her emotional response to her adult son's debilitating stroke
Cover of "Erythra Thalassa" by Anne Libeskind Berkovits

Credit: Books Forward

“Erythra Thalassa” is the title poem from Annette Libeskind Berkovits‘ recent book, which chronicles her adult son’s debilitating stroke through poetry. Berkovits, who spent three decades working for the Wildlife Conservation Society in New York as senior vice president, has published a wide array of literary work, including two memoirs, a historical novel, and numerous short stories.

After Berkovits’ son Jeremy suffered a hemorrhagic stroke at the age of 46, she entered a stark new reality in which Jeremy might never fully return to his old self. In “Erythra Thalassa,” she likens the hemorrhage to a flood, transforming the landscape of her son’s brain in an instant.

In the myriad gray folds

no neuron, no synapse,

no astrocyte,

no oligodendrocyte,

no microglia left dry.

Epic flood.

The intensity and desolation of this passage contrasts with its technical terminology. Science, like poetry itself, can be a means of both understanding and abstracting painful experiences. Berkovits, a scientist by profession, seems to wield these sterile terms as a way of mapping out the incalculable reality that confronts her.

There is a particular brutality to the sudden and random nature of a stroke, especially among people who are young and otherwise healthy. The ripples of this shock can be felt in Berkovits’ poems. At times, her work emanates the sort of quiet hysteria that comes with waiting out a loved one’s fate. The last few lines of “Erythra Thalassa” are a series of urgent questions, evoking the powerlessness Berkovits feels as she tries to discern her son’s future.

How long the deafening

stillness? How long the ears

shuttered closed?

How long will eyelids

veil his light?

After several surgeries, Berkovits’ son eventually recovered his full cognitive abilities, but his body remained completely paralyzed. As Berkovits shared in an interview with Cheryl Jones, this outcome was the reverse of doctors’ predictions — proving that even medical experts are still baffled by the workings of the brain. “In many ways, I think the brain is like a planet that’s yet to be explored. We see only maybe the outer rings of it,” she told Jones.

Headshot of Anne Libeskind Berkovits, author of "Erythra Thalassa"

Credit: Books Forward

Berkovits navigates that mysterious planet with grace, affection, and honesty. Her work encapsulates the razor-sharp vulnerability of sudden trauma and its aftermath. Blending science and plainspoken narrative with emotional and evocative descriptions, Berkovits’ poems guide the reader through a wrenching yet beautiful journey.

FacebookTwitterPinterestShare
Posted in The Next Chapter | Leave a comment

Nursing Home Staff Find Creative Ways to Make Holidays Fun for Residents on Lockdown

From reindeer games to scavenger hunts, keeping nursing home residents engaged during the holidays can reduce loneliness and isolation
Continental Manor resident of nursing home

A resident at Continental Manor in Blanchester, Ohio, gears up for a reindeer hunt, one of many games designed to help seniors get in the holiday spirit.
Credit: Continental Manor via Facebook

Continental Manor, a nursing home in Blanchester, Ohio, recently made big waves in the social media world when it shared on Facebook a video of staff members engaged in a lively activity with residents during the holidays — a move that has been widely praised at a time when care facilities find themselves at the epicenter of the COVID-19 pandemic.

In the November 30 video, employees recreated a winter wonderland forest with decorated fir trees and then, dressed as reindeer, darted in between the trees as seniors armed with toy guns shot foam darts at them. The game allowed everyone to participate while complying with health and safety protocols pertaining to mask-wearing and social distancing.

“Residents had fun deer hunting today,” read the post, which inspired hundreds of thousands of people to comment, like and share the video throughout their own social networks.

On the surface, such games seem like just a rollicking good time. But, given what scientists know about loneliness and aging — especially as the nation’s care facilities undergo a prolonged lockdown during the COVID-19 pandemic — nursing home activities held during the holidays bring far more benefits to patients than meet the eye.

Gerontologists and those who study loneliness in older adults believe seniors tend to report higher levels of isolation and sadness, which can negatively affect health outcomes, overall feelings of well-being and, ultimately, longevity.

A 2020 study conducted by the National Academies of Sciences, Engineering and Medicine found 24% of all Americans over age 65 are socially isolated. In that study, 43% of participants over age 60 reported experiencing feelings of loneliness.

Researchers have determined social isolation has been associated with a significantly increased risk of premature mortality from all causes and at least a 40% increased risk of dementia. Loneliness has also been linked to an increased risk of death among those living with heart failure, while links between poor social relationships and heart disease have also been recorded.

In that light, activities like the “reindeer hunt” at Continental Manor can help maintain important social connections between nursing home staff members and those in their care, while also helping residents exercise motor skills, feelings of competency and inclusion — during the holidays or anytime.

Life Care Assn. of America shares on its website what care facilities and nursing homes across the country are doing to help seniors feel less lonely during the COVID-19 pandemic.

For example, Life Care Center of the North Shore in Lynn, Massachusetts, helped residents create “memes” about what they were most grateful for this Thanksgiving, while Westside Village Nursing Center in Indianapolis lets residents share their personal stories on social media and had residents go on magazine “scavenger hunts.”

Golden Carers, an online resource that provides care plans, activities and tips for caregivers and their loved ones, has compiled a list for seniors forced to shelter in place, “50 Activities for Elderly in Lockdown and Isolation.”

Nursing home resident expresses gratitude during lockdown

Credit: Life Care Center of the North Shore via Facebook

Sorted by the benefits they bring, from spiritual connection to enhancing motor skills, recommendations include creative forms of storytelling, drawing and coloring and other artistic endeavors.

“The coronavirus pandemic is causing chaos worldwide and this is a hard time for so many,” Golden Carers says on its website. “We need to hang in there — these crazy times will pass.”

FacebookTwitterPinterestShare
Posted in Something Special | 2 Comments

A Moving Quote About Taking Time to Grieve from Catherine Sanders

Plus a beautiful holiday heart made of flowers from SevenPonds

holiday heart plus quote about grief

FacebookTwitterPinterestShare
Posted in A Rite of Passage | Leave a comment

“Dick Johnson is Dead” Directed by Kirsten Johnson

A documentary filmmaker explores her relationship with her father's mortality

Movie cover for Dick Johnson is DeadIn the Netflix film “Dick Johnson is Dead,” documentary filmmaker Kirsten Johnson explores the process of coming to terms with her father’s looming death. When Dick Johnson begins double-booking clients at his psychiatry practice and forgetting everyday details, Kirsten and her family realize he can no longer live independently. She moves him into her one-bedroom apartment in New York, where the two of them to begin to navigate the tender but grueling experience of shifting into a new care dynamic.

Both Johnson and her father are warm and lighthearted, and their mutual affection resonates throughout the movie. Dick Johnson gamely agrees to let Kirsten stage elaborate, theatrical death scenes for him: Throughout the movie, she films him “dying” from various causes, including a fall down the stairs, a construction accident, and a car wreck.

These “deaths,” however, are more of a framing device than the real core of the film. Most of the scenes are made up of sweetly comical behind-the-scenes footage: The stuntman demonstrating a fake heart attack, the crew members explaining to Dick Johnson how his fake blood apparatus works, Kirsten Johnson asking her father to move his arm a little to the right while he’s pretending to lie dead on the floor.

Scene from "Dick Johnson is Dead" with Dick Johnson lying on ground under parts of air conditioner

Kirsten Johnson staged elaborate “deaths” to deal with her father’s mortality.
Credit: Netflix

While the concept may seem bizarre or macabre, Johnson’s love for her father is deeply felt throughout the film. In one scene, she holds onto him with both hands as her crew films him walking down the sidewalk; as his stunt double “trips” and falls to the ground, she pulls him gently out of the way and kisses his forehead. Here, there seems to be a clear metaphor that perhaps lies throughout the film: In acting out these deaths, she is also, in some way, able to save him from them.

The tone of “Dick Johnson is Dead” is tender and funny, but it is not without heart-wrenching moments. Anyone who has cared for a parent or older loved one will be familiar with some of the tense, emotional conversations Johnson captures on film: explaining to her father that they’ve sold his car, helping him say goodbye to the home he raised her in, reminding him where he is when he can’t piece together new surroundings. Even in benign, lighthearted moments, extended closeups of Dick Johnson’s face hint at the profound vulnerability that comes with memory loss and physical decline.

Still, the overall feeling of the film is resoundingly joyful. Dick Johnson himself exudes happiness and gratitude, clearly delighting in the attention of his daughter and the nearness of his family. Kirsten Johnson’s focus is on the gifts brought not just by life, but by death — the preciousness of fleeting moments and the hope of final peace and reunion. The film is punctuated with elaborate, cheeky visions of heaven in which Dick Johnson hangs out with dead celebrities, dines from chocolate fountains, and dances with his beloved wife. Though deliberately campy, these scenes embody the sense of optimism and hope that permeates the film. Pondering the loss of her mother and the decline of her father, Johnson muses:

It would be so easy if loving only gave us the beautiful. But what loving demands is that we face the fear of losing each other. That when it gets messy, we hold each other close. And when we can, we defiantly celebrate our brief moments of joy.

“Dick Johnson is Dead” is a funny, deeply poignant film that will resonate deeply with anyone who has dealt with the loss — real or impending — of someone they love.

FacebookTwitterPinterestShare
Posted in Lending Insight | 2 Comments

Managing Pain Through Mindfulness and Why It Works

Pain psychologist and mindfulness expert Leslie Aria, Ph.D., explains how people with life-limiting illnesses and other forms of chronic pain can find relief
Les Aria, PhD, meditating in his home in front of a fireplace. Mr. Aria teaches patients to manage pain with mindfulness and meditation

Leslie Aria, Ph.D., teaches patients to use meditation and mindfulness techniques to manage pain.

Mindfulness has become a hot topic in recent years. From apps and podcasts to K–12 mindfulness schools and accredited mindfulness teaching programs, it’s clear that the benefits of mindfulness have a strong appeal in today’s world. This is especially true for those dealing with life-limiting illnesses and the elderly, who often suffer from significant pain. Research shows that practicing mindfulness can actually reduce the experience of physical suffering. Leslie Aria, Ph.D., has been helping his patients do just that for 16 years.

Aria is a pain psychologist at Kaiser Permanente in Sacramento, California. When he first started out as a psychologist, he told himself he would never work with chronic pain patients. “I was afraid,” he said. But during his graduate work, he became fascinated with the relationship between medical conditions and depression — how one often led to the other, and vice versa. Now, he helps patients with chronic pain utilize mindfulness and meditation techniques to manage their pain.

Earlier this year, Aria started Myndfulness, a website with free meditation resources and information. When COVID-19 hit California in March, he started getting emails from patients who could no longer afford to see him because they’d lost their jobs and insurance. He saw a need for free, accessible resources for people looking to try mindfulness techniques or continue their practice. He is also the co-founder of RemedyPain.co, and in January 2021, he will also be hosting the first Solving Chronic Pain Summit with Dr. David Clawson, Dr. David Hanscom and Stephen Porges, Ph.D.

Editor’s Note: This interview has been edited for length and clarity.

Thank you so much for joining us today. To start us off, would you mind explaining what pain psychology is — and how you started working in the field?

A pain psychologist specializes in treating persistent pain — whether that’s headaches, migraines, neck pain, back pain, IBS or even post-chemotherapy pain. I use the term “persistent pain” because “chronic pain” is used so much that there’s a certain ambivalence toward it. When you use different terminology, it wakes the brain up a little, and we say, “What’s that?”

Pain psychologists focus not just on thoughts and feelings but the physiology behind them. When I did a rotation in the chronic pain department in grad school, I saw the provider struggle with the patients — they were angry because nothing was working, and they wanted more opioids. They were really suffering, and I thought, “I don’t want to be part of this.” I didn’t truly understand why they were angry. But eventually, I found good mentors who asked me, “Wouldn’t you be angry if you were in chronic pain and couldn’t get out of it?” When I started to understand that, I wasn’t afraid to help the patients anymore. I ended up getting additional training, and now — I love my work. I’m so blessed to be able to help people who are suffering and actually hold space for them — and change their physiology.

Are patients usually open to the idea of managing pain through mindfulness, or do you find there’s some resistance to it?

A lot of patients see me as their “last stop” when everything else has failed. They may have tried medical treatments or acupuncture and found it didn’t work for them. Sometimes their reaction to the idea of mindfulness is, “But this isn’t just in my head.” Ironically, it is in their head, in a sense — in their brain — but I let them know that I’m not going to try to dissuade them.

I start by asking patients what the most taxing thing for them is — say, if they have lower back pain — and I ask them, “If I can shift your pain in today’s visit, would you be open to seeing me again?” Often, they say, “You’re on. What have you got?”

Let’s talk a bit more about what mindfulness is. Is it the same as meditation?

There’s formal mindfulness, which is meditation — setting aside time to practice mindfulness with a specific focus, like breath. There is over 35 years’ worth of research showing that meditation helps balance your nervous system. Then there’s informal mindfulness, which has to do with where you focus your attention as you’re going through your daily activities. When you drink a sip of your tea, are you just drinking tea, or are you drinking tea and worry? When you take a shower, are you by yourself, or are you with all the people and problems in your head?

Les Aria lifting free weights. Mr. Aria teaches patients to manage pain through mindfulness during their daily activities.

Aria helps patients manage their pain to engage in daily activities again.

Informal mindfulness involves engaging all five senses. For instance, I’m drinking this tea, and it smells like rose. It’s warm, and I can feel my fingertips getting warm. I can hear it swishing in the glass. That’s an example of informal mindfulness. Doing this will train you to be aware during difficult moments when you’re feeling pain. It trains you to wake up from what’s dominating your brain in that moment.

Mindfulness helps you focus on what I call the three As. The first is attention. Your attention is your currency — if your attention is on the past, that leads to feelings of depression. If your attention is on the future, that leads to anxiety. Next, you have to build awareness of what’s going on inside, what’s pushing you around — your inner critic. Then you work on changing your attitude — fostering qualities that are helpful, like curiosity, non-judgment and kindness.

Can mindfulness be helpful for those with life-limiting illnesses?

A daily mindfulness practice helps reduce unnecessary suffering by helping us cultivate awareness when we are hooked by our internal storylines. Mindfulness also helps us develop helpful mental qualities such as kindness, acceptance, non-judgment, and curiosity. It helps us conserve and appreciate each present moment.

In my work, I’ve experienced a spectrum of terminal illness and end of life issues with patients and family members. I recall one patient who was suffering greatly from a terminal illness and shared with me that he had not spoken to his sons in 30 years. After practicing mindfulness for two weeks, he decided to reach out to his sons and ask for their forgiveness. He was able to pass with love, not shame.

Training ourselves to focus in the present moment and to stop struggling with our reality can lead to less suffering. The most common report I get from patients is, “I feel more peaceful; more loving and accepting of myself, especially when I am scared at night.” Mindfulness takes the sting out of our suffering.

What is the science behind chronic pain and managing pain through mindfulness?

Chronic pain is no longer about structure, nerves, and tissue damage. That’s old science. Newer science shows that chronic pain occurs because the nervous system continues to be on the defense.

Research has shown that practicing mindfulness regularly — say, for about 20 minutes a day for eight weeks — actually shrinks the amygdala, or the part of our brain responsible for strong emotional reactivity. We become less reactive when negative thoughts occur, and we identify less with strong negative emotions. That, in itself, reduces physical sensation.

We think of the benefits of mindfulness as being intangible, but in some ways they are very concrete and measurable. For instance, I can tell whether patients have been practicing mindfulness by measuring something called their heart rate variability. When your HRV is on the higher side, it shows that you are taking care of yourself, you’re open to the stressors of the day. A low HRV is associated with psychological rigidity, and when you have low HRV you’re more vulnerable to illness. Your immune system is compromised. Looking at a patient’s HRV is a bit like looking at blood work for a diabetic.

What are some of the techniques you might use with a first-time patient to begin managing pain through mindfulness?

My approach has three steps: Re-educating the patient, helping them retrain their nervous system, and re-engaging them in life. All the things they said they couldn’t do — we work on getting them back to doing those things.

One thing I’ll do with new patients is have them put their hands on their belly and ask them to focus on their thumb. When they breathe in, they raise their thumb up; when they breathe out, they lower it down. They repeat this for each finger, three times. At the end, they tell me that yes, their pain shifted during the exercise — but now it’s back. I ask them, “Where did your pain go during that time?” It was nowhere to be found. Now the key is to stretch that out. We’re reorganizing the nervous system into a more healthy state.

Les Aria jogging on the sidewalk in an autumn scene. Mr. Aria helps patients manage pain through mindfulness.

Aria practices mindfulness techniques throughout the day.

Patients often tell me they don’t have time to practice mindfulness, so I ask them, “Do you have one minute and five seconds?” That’s how long it takes to do the breathing exercise with your hands on your belly. I do little mindfulness practices like that throughout the day. I meditate for a total of about two hours every day — in the morning for 20 minutes, and then sprinkled throughout the day in these smaller moments.

Thank you so much for talking with us about managing pain through mindfulness today. It’s been a pleasure to speak with you.

 

FacebookTwitterPinterestShare
Posted in Professional Advice | 3 Comments

Christmas Lights Bring Hope and Cheer Amid Pandemic

U.S. cities, states and individuals are creating unique light displays and memorials to boost spirits and promote safety
A Christmas Lights display in Georgia.

World of Illumination’s Candy Rush holiday lights display in Marietta, Georgia
Credit: Explore Georgia

As the holidays draw near and COVID-19 cases spike across the country, many cities are transitioning from Christmas tree-lighting ceremonies and other pedestrian activities to drive-through displays. Others are taking the opportunity to create light memorials that honor the more than 279,000 Americans who’ve died from the virus. Meanwhile, some individuals are erecting their own creations to encourage connection, inspire joy and offer opportunities for mourning.

A girl looks out of a car driving through a Christmas lights display.

Credit: Live Nation

Some cities have cancelled Christmas lights displays due to concerns over spreading the virus, while remaining walk-in events often urge mask-wearing and social distancing. Others have adapted by offering drive-through options, enabling individuals to enjoy the season from the safety of their cars. From New York to Omaha, Nebraska to San Jose, California, people around the nation are finding ways to access joy while celebrating with family and friends. “It brings cheer to a time when things are uncertain and disappointing,” Cynthia Perez told Fox News of San Jose’s new drive-through option. “It really lit up the city.”

A drive-thru holiday display in Omaha, Nebraska.

Credit: Santa’s Rock N Lights in Omaha, Nebraska

COVID-19 Victims Memorialized With Light Displays

Some authorities, companies and individuals are also using lights to create unique memorials for those who’ve died from COVID-19. Contemporary architecture firm Axis Mundi has proposed a COVID-19 memorial light installation called “Numinous” in New York. Meanwhile, Minnesota recently lit up bridges, buildings and other landmarks in purple to honor frontline workers and those who’ve died from the virus.

And in Orlando, Florida, one couple took matters into their own hands, erecting more than 270,000 Christmas lights to honor COVID-19 victims. “We sit out here every night and look at the people pass by and look at the lights,” Frank Boyce told Click Orlando. “And there’s not a night that we don’t cry.”

Christmas lights have taken on unusual significance this year, with many people sharing on social media that putting up their lights has felt especially meaningful. In March, numerous families resurrected their displays to provide much-needed cheer toward the onset of the pandemic.

Lights in North Carolina in March brought cheer during the pandemic.

McAdenville, North Carolina, put up Christmas lights in March during
the pandemic.
Credit: Jeff Siner for The Charlotte Observer

The initiative recalled the ancient roots of Christmas, when people in the Northern Hemisphere placed evergreen boughs around their homes to remind them that springtime would, indeed, return.

FacebookTwitterPinterestShare
Posted in Soulful Expressions | 1 Comment