Mourning Loss in Brazilian Funerals
Credit: Flickr
Like the act of death, Brazilian funerals are celebrations that happen almost instantaneously at first, before they extend into a long, drawn out, grieving process. This is a tradition that is born out of necessity, as the warm and moist climate of Brazil is ideal for decomposition. For this reason, most funeral viewings must legally be held within 48 hours of the time of death.
Due to the hastiness at which a funeral must be prepared, traditional Brazilian funerals typically lack much of the formality that many Americans are familiar with. Despite the gravity of the occasion, funerals are a casual affair, with funeral-goers even dressing up in jeans to avoid having to frantically search for black tie attire. Likewise, it is uncommon for flowers to be brought as a gift, although close family members are encouraged to offer their time to help with chores, such as doing the dishes or a load of laundry to ease the responsibilities of the family in mourning.
This is an exercise in grief that seems almost refreshing, when compared to the somber silence that is required of most American funerals.
A funeral in Brazil is not a celebration, but a time of great pain and mourning. Family and friends are encouraged to wail and cry as loudly as they need to — to revel in the loss of the beloved person who has passed. This is an exercise in grief that seems almost refreshing, when compared to the somber silence that is required of most American funerals. Instead, loved ones are given the chance to let out their pain by even going so far as to kiss and hug the body of the person in the casket.
Funerals are typically held in velórios, which are buildings that are specifically used for mourning deceased family or friends. While some locations may have concession stands nearby where food and drink can be purchased, in most cases, food is not welcome at funerals, because it takes the mind away from the beloved person who has been lost.
Credit: Flickr
In modern times, it is becoming more common for some venues to offer ‘virtual wakes’ in tandem with the live wake. This is an outstanding breakthrough that gives far away relatives and friends the opportunity to mourn the loss of the deceased, despite any circumstances that may be preventing them from attending the actual funeral. Instead, they are able to connect to the venue where the funeral is being held, through an online program similar to Skype, so they can watch and grieve with relatives in real time.
In this way, friends and family are given a head start on actively working through their grief as they hold on to the memory of a person who has had a great impact on their lives.
While virtual wakes offer mourners a chance to say goodbye to the body in real time, oftentimes the Brazilian funeral mourning period will extend seven days past the time of death. During this time, masses and other memorial events may also be held for people to pay their respects. In this way, friends and family are given a head start on actively working through their grief as they hold on to the memory of a person who has had a great impact on their lives.
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I’m doing a book on New Orleans jazz funerals. The history says Africa slaves brought their customs to the city. More slaves where brought to Brazil. What is their custom? Why didn’t slaves have the same funeral customs as in New Orleans. Are their any processions with bands accompanying a funeral? Thank You
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I have remarried and retired in Brazil, living here for the past 6 years. I love Brasil and the brasileiros, and will happily spend the rest of my days here. However, my experience of funerals here (3) is nothing but witnessing supressed grief.
I agree that a funeral should not be a celebration as such, but it should definitely be a celebration of the life and achievements of the person who has passed away. One I went to at a velorio, took place with 3 others also happening. The priest held a brief ceremony in the passageway, which no-one could hear. It was like being in a busy railway station, with a few strangers pushing past. Then we were whisked off to a large cemetery, where the burial was over quickly, and then everyone left. Not a word was said in honour and celebration of the life and achievements of the departed. The bereft widow and family did not cope well on on the day, nor for months afterwards.
I do not want appear as a critical and unsympathetic estrangeiro. Just the opposite. Perhaps Brazil could look at the traditions of other cultures, and broaden their outlook on celebrating the life of the deceased. And have a look at the video of the magnificent sendoff they gave Mohammed Ali the boxer, in the USA. You will see what I mean. 🙂
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(And no speeches at Brasil Weddings……!!! Unbelievable!! That is a topic for a lively debate for another day!!!
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Hi Bob,
I live in the U.S., but I’ve had the pleasure of knowing several Brazilian people, all of whom have been warm, outgoing, and expansive human beings. It does seem odd that they would conduct funerals with such haste and detachment, although — as this piece explains — there are some very practical reasons why they have done so in the past. Perhaps the next generation of brasileiros will invent some new traditions that honor the lives of the dead in more concrete ways. Cultures take time to evolve, as we all know.
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