Bucket Lists – Everyone Has a Bucket List!

Lots of bucket list ideas to choose from

Things have been really busy lately since the full launch of our site. I’m finally out from behind the computer (whew!) and am busy building a new life as well as reaching out to industry experts. It’s so great getting to meet so many amazing, smart, and kind people in end of life.

Bucket lists are popular these days. Everyone has some sort of bucket list of what they want to see, do, or accomplish in their lifetime. You need not be terminally ill to have a one, but if you are, it sure pushes the most important items to the top of your list. There is no lack of ideas, as any web search will attest to. Be it the film Bucket List or the “1001” must-do before you die series of books that range from films, whiskies, to places to travel – all to delightfully accomplish before you die.

And then there’s Roman.

All week I had Roman in my head and it got me thinking about more than a bucket list. Years ago when I lived in Michigan I went to the Beverly Hills Club, a health club, to get massages by a man named Roman. He was exceptionally good at massage. Then one day he asked me if I would like an extra half hour since he had time in his schedule. I was fine with it. After the massage he followed me to the checkout counter and as I went up to the desk, he whispered, “Tell them you only had an hour.” I looked at Roman, confused; and he repeated, “Tell them you only had an hour.” But I didn’t and I paid for the extra time. I never saw Roman again.

Roman followed me to the checkout counter

When I returned for a massage, I found out he had died of leukemia. Not much time has passed and I was flabbergasted. Then I understood. Unbeknownst to me, he was near the end of his life. The extra massage time he insisted I take was his goodbye “gift of dying” to me. I was eternally touched. What an endearing kind of gift.

This past week I had Roman in my head. I keep seeing him following me out of the massage room. Then he is standing close to the checkout counter, whispering his gift to me. And I see his eyes saying goodbye in a way that I now completely understood.

What a wonderful idea to gift others before we die! We should all have a gift of dying list. Have you considered this? Would you?