How to Divide Family Heirlooms

My mom with my grandparents in their home, all items are now all bestowed.

It’s rather expected that every mother has her own set of rules she expects her children to abide by. As far back as I can remember, one of my mother’s top rules was a method she wanted us to use to divide family heirlooms. I would agree it’s not your usual kind of mom rule; but then my mom is not your usual mom. Over the years she’s made it clear to me and my brothers that when it comes time to divide the family heirlooms, she wants us to get along. She also wants us to have the opportunity to select that which we most treasure. I’ve heard her state this method so many times, it will be rote by the time we gather to divide the furniture, jewelry, dishware and art my parents have accumulated over their lifetime. It’s actually quite simple. Here are her rules when all of us three children gather together:

1. Rule number one – No spouses or grandchildren are to be present. If they want a certain item, they can let each of us know ahead of time.
2. Rule number two – Put the numbers 1, 2 & 3 on a piece of paper and fold them up. Each of us is to draw a number out of a hat.
3. Rule number three – Whoever has number one goes first to pick what they want, then number two, and so on in rotation until we have picked all the items we want.
4. Rule number four – If someone really must have a certain item, speak up at the beginning; and hopefully the other two of us are kind to let them have it before the selecting begins.
5. Rule number five – Hire an estate liquidation service to hold a house sale and sell off what’s left. Then divide the cash evenly.

Mothers being as they are, I suspect upon reading this my mom will probably correct me on the above stated instructions.

What’s interesting about many of the items my parents own is that they purchased them at estate sales, also referred to as house sales. Much of my childhood was spent with my parents on the weekends “house saling” (note not a proper word) as we called it in the Detroit area. Consequently much of the furniture, housewares and jewelry they own has a double meaning for me, having seen the previous home in which the item resided. Each heirloom possess a double life and double the memories for me. House sales are fascinating and I highly recommend them – who doesn’t love finding a treasure!

My treasured Bernina

This method must be a good one, since it worked when my grandfather died back in the early ’90s. My mom, her brother and sister split up all of my grandparents’ heirlooms together in Florida. My mom had asked me ahead of time what I wanted, and so she brought back to Michigan my grandmother’s Swiss Bernina sewing machine. It’s a great machine and I especially treasure it since my grandmother made many of her fashionable outfits with it. All the furniture was divided up and trucked in many directions (Michigan, Washington and California) for my aunt and uncle to then bestow on many of my cousins.

Dividing up family heirlooms can be tricky. But I must say, my mom’s method is a good to consider.