Hilaria Baldwin Teaches Her Kids About Death With Family Trips to Cemeteries

Skjee Church cemetery in Norway. Credit: Wolfmann, Wikimedia Commons

Explaining the end of life to children can be complex and challenging. While kids are curious by nature, it’s not unusual for parents and other adults to find themselves at a loss for words when it comes to death. 

Hilaria Baldwin, the yoga instructor, and with husband Alec Baldwin the mother of seven children, is trying to help her kids create a healthy relationship with death in her own way: “I bring my kids to cemeteries a lot,” she explained.

Baldwin spoke about this and other aspects of parenting in June on Kate and Oliver Hudson’s podcast, “Sibling Revelry,” as reported in People magazine. 

The conversation started when host Oliver admitted he has an increasing fear of death since having kids. Baldwin said that as a parent, she too understood anew how fragile life can be, but said she has figured out one way to handle it. 

“We spend time in cemeteries and everything from the history of it and just also acknowledging, this is part of life.”

Day of the Dead celebration in Leon, Guanajuato, Mexico. Credit: Tomas Castelazo, Wikimedia Commons

Baldwin isn’t wrong. Education and exposure to death, grief, and end-of-life ceremonies just might help children grasp these concepts more easily. According to Child Bereavement UK, “Children and young people want and need adults to be honest, particularly when talking about death and grief.”

Cemeteries might have a negative reputation through portrayals in popular entertainment. Movies like “Night of the Living Dead” show scary zombies rising from their graves. Even in children’s shows such as “Scooby-Doo, Where Are You!,” cemeteries can be depicted as dark and eerie. 

But, in fact, cemeteries are intended to help loved ones remember and honor those who have died. They are “a place of serene remembrance; they allow us to enjoy time with loved ones,” as the Pennsylvania Cemetery, Cremation & Funeral Association puts it. 

Child Bereavement UK notes that some children actually might find it comforting to visit the place where a loved one is buried to leave flowers or mementoes. Other youngsters might be bewildered at first. Don’t force it, advises the charity. But if you can make visiting cemeteries with children a regular practice imbued with a sense of love and happy memories, and a time to express honest feelings, it can help children better understand what cemeteries and end-of-life ceremonies can represent at their best.

Stanwell Burial Ground in Surrey, England. Credit: Marathon, geograph.org.uk

Baldwin seems to know this of cemeteries. In her interview, she went on, “There’s a tremendous amount of peace there as well. And not being afraid, if not of death, but of people who have died, you know? 

“And because I don’t want anyone to be afraid of me when I die. So I try to have that kind of connection with them.”

Visiting a cemetery with children may seem morbid at first, but such experiences can help them learn how to honor those who have died. Such a practice can lessen a child’s fear of and help them feel better about grieving and dying.

And as Baldwin makes clear, preparing children for the inevitable seems to be a worthwhile choice for any parent.