“With a Little Help From My Friends” by Joe Cocker

The vinyl of “With a Little Help From My Friends” Credit: Regal Zonophone/Wikimedia

“With a Little Help From My Friends,” written by John Lennon and Paul McCartney and originally sung by The Beatles, was famously covered by Joe Cocker on his album released in 1969. The tempo of the Beatles’ 1967 version was upbeat, but Cocker’s gritty, raw and emotional rendition solidified its place in music history at Woodstock as a powerhouse ballad that cries out from a soulful place: “I get by with a little help from my friends.” 

It would be a moving and vulnerable song to play to a gathering of loved ones because it honors the reality of loss and those who see us through. 

(The song might also ring a bell as the opening of the classic TV show from the late 1980s and early 1990s about coming of age, “The Wonder Years.”) 

A song about those who love us and see us through

A stellar organ solo opens the song. As that’s an instrument played in church, it fits in, evoking a spiritual feeling and imbuing the song with an uplifting quality while simultaneously eliciting a sense of community. 

“… What would you think if I sang out of tune?

Would you stand up and walk out on me?

Lend me your ears and I’ll sing you a song

And I’ll try not to sing out of key…” 

The people giving speeches about their loved one might get emotional, and there’s something raw and beautiful about it, because a group of people have gathered to hold space for them and laugh and cry with them. The opening feels real and brave with a passionate, charged chorus — “I get by with a little help from my friends.”

“…What do I do when my love is away?” 

(Does it worry you to be alone?) 

How does it feel by the end of the day? 

Are you sad because you’re on your own?”

There’s a call and response between Cocker and his back-up singers, who really shine as his friends in the song — those who ask intimate questions, who care to know how one is doing, specifically, about their loss. There’s even room for humor. 

“Do you need anybody?” 

“I need someone to love…” 

Who doesn’t, you know? 

Friends help: it’s true

In the context of an end-of-life ceremony, the song would be directed toward the people who love you and show up for you. It also invites love in, invites people to be there, and it even invites the opportunity to sing along because it’s true — everyone can agree — we do get by thanks to our friends. 

The overall feel of the song might make it a rock-solid closing number. Why? Because it’s a brave song that elicits vulnerability in those listening. The voice and lyrics serve to remind all that it’s brave to have loved and to be loved. 

It’s brave to stand up in front of a group of people and honor a life, to express grief and joy as they speak of the person being celebrated. 

It’s brave to communicate that love is what really matters in the end. 

That’s what “I get by with a little help from my friends” reminds us.

Joe Cocker in the spotlight on tour in 1970 Credit: Linda Wolf / Wikimedia