In a surprisingly candid speech at Yale, Vice President Joe Biden described the pain parents endure when they lose a child.
Biden understands this idea better than most. He recently lost his son Beau Biden, 46, to brain cancer, and has suffered other serious losses in his life. It’s the second time he’s had to grieve for one of his children.
He nearly lost Beau more than 40 years ago, decades before Beau’s cancer diagnosis. In 1972, his first wife and three children were involved in a fatal car accident. His wife, Neilia, and 13-month-old daughter, Naomi, were killed. His sons, Beau and Hunter, were seriously injured in the crash. They were on their way to buy the family’s Christmas tree when it happened.
He was sworn into the Senate at his sons’ bedsides in the hospital. Biden explained that nothing was more important to him than being with his children in that moment.
The loss was so sudden that he didn’t know how to cope at first. He told a crowd in 2012,
“For the first time in my life, I understood how someone could consciously decide to commit suicide. I realized someone could go out — and I probably shouldn’t say this with the press here, but you’re more important — I realized how someone could consciously decide to commit suicide. Not because they were deranged, not because they were nuts. Because they’d been to the top of the mountain, and they just knew in their heart they’d never get there again; that it was never going to get — never going to be that way ever again.”
Politicians don’t often get to speak candidly to people about raw feelings like this, especially not when cameras are around.
It’s a powerful statement for a political figure. Politicians don’t often get to speak candidly to people about raw feelings like this, especially not when cameras are around. Biden’s speech is a rare and stirring account of what it feels like to lose someone you love.
He doesn’t condone suicide, but he says he understands the desire to end your own life after the loss of a child. Parents often feel guilty that they have survived after one of their children has died. They can feel like their lives should have ended rather than their child’s. It’s an emotion that we rarely talk about, but that parents go through every day.
He also points something out that many people experience, but are afraid to say. It’s hard to hear “I know how you feel” when you’ve lost someone close to you. The crowd agreed with him wholeheartedly when he said, “I knew they meant well. I knew they were genuine. But you knew they didn’t have any damn idea.”
His speech goes beyond his personal losses, and applies to anyone who has ever lost someone they loved, especially a child.
While the speech below was given in 2012, it has an especially powerful meaning with the recent news of Beau Biden’s passing. His speech goes beyond his personal losses, and applies to anyone who has ever lost someone they loved, especially a child.
When we get thousands of speeches from politicians that are carefully tweaked by publicists, this speech is a breath of fresh air. We get to hear Biden talk about the things many of us have thought, but are afraid to say.
Take a listen below: