How Quakers Cope with Death

The Quaker religion is a form of Christianity founded by George Fox in England around 1650. Six years later, in 1656, two women brought the Quaker religion to the United States. Quakers believe that Christ, and by extension God, lives in each of our souls. They do not believe that we require clergy to bring us closer to Christ.

A Quaker Meeting House
(Credit: ushistory.org)

Many Quakers don’t believe in heaven and hell. They believe that if God lives in the soul, and the soul never dies, then there is no need for a special place for the soul to go.

Some of the Quaker’s earliest beliefs included not engaging in war, plain and modest dress and behavior, and opposition to slavery and alcohol.

There are several events that take place when a Quaker dies. There is no viewing of the loved one’s body, though the family may decide to host a visitation for other family members and close friends.

Embalming is forbidden. Funeral homes use refrigeration to preserve the loved one’s body until the burial can take place.

Since Quakers place great emphasis on good deeds, they support organ and tissue donation as well as donating one’s body to science.

Most Quakers prefer burial, though some choose cremation instead. There is nothing in the religion that forbids this. Many Quaker Meeting Houses have cemeteries on the property. Other Quakers prefer to be buried in a “green cemetery.”

Modesty is a main tenet of the Quaker religion, so Quakers do not use an ornate casket or urn. Typically a pine coffin is used.

Credit: stephanie-blog.co.uk

The typical service is conducted at the meeting house. It is common to open the ceremony by reminding visitors that this is a “meeting for worship in Thanksgiving for the Grace of God As shown in the life of our Friend.” An elder of the church then explains how the services are conducted. This helps non-Quakers feel more comfortable and welcome.

The next step is a time of quiet meditation. If anyone wants to say anything, he or she may stand up and do so. Common offerings include stories about the loved one, expressions of love for the person who has died, prayers, songs, and readings. The theme of sharing is believed to be positive and comforting, bringing solace to those who are mourning. The service lasts around half an hour.

Quakers focus on doing good deeds, not initiating or participating in violence and behaving modestly. They are very serious about their personal relationships with God. These traits help them deal with the death of a loved one and the grief that ensues.