When a loved one nears the end of his or her life in Denmark, a special tradition unfolds. It’s a simple act – a swift gesture that takes little effort, but says so very much: the opening of a window for “the soul” of the loved one to pass through once they have died.
“It’s a simple act – a swift gesture that takes little effort, but says so very much…”
You may have seen the Johnson & Johnson commercial from a few years back where a hospice nurse attends a woman aptly named Berta Olson: the nurse is seated beside her in the room, and it’s understood that Berta has told her of the tradition to leave the window open in the room of the person who is dying. “Not tonight,” the nurse says to Berta. She was nearing death, but she wasn’t there yet.
The northern countries (Denmark, Sweden, etc.) have a long-standing respect and connection with their natural environment that pervades many of their holidays and traditions (ex. the equinoxes, midsummer). Regardless of one’s beliefs about the afterlife, there is something comforting and revitalizing about opening a window for that certain loved one after he or she has died. It’s a gesture of letting go, but also letting in; bringing in the fresh air from the outside world and the promise of another day.
“It’s a gesture of letting go, but also letting in; bringing in the fresh air from the outside world and the promise of another day…”
Danish traditions are mostly a combination of Christian and Pagan beliefs, and it’s also not uncommon to find candles on the windowsills of Danish households to commemorate the life of a loved one, ring in a holiday or simply bring some warmth into the house.
This Danish tradition reminds us that sometimes the solution for making a meaningful end-of-life experience lies in something rather uncomplicated, with no need for money or glitz. Should you find yourself caring for a loved one as they reach the end of his or her life, consider this ancient tradition to symbolize the mysterious journey of the human life.
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My mother died in a care home..I was present as were her 2 grandsons..Her breathing had changed. I knew she was nearing the end..As she took her last breath, suddenly the top part of the window, next to her bed, crashed open. Obviously the windows had to be very secure as Mum [and other residents] suffered from Alzheimers disease and safety was of paramount importance.
My sons and I were startled as it was a very calm day and any way the window opened in a downward fashion so couldn’t have blown open if there had been a strong wind.
I’m not sure what happened that day. Coincidence? Or had someone come to take her. Was it her spirit leaving? I just don’t know…
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I was travelling from Newfoundland to British Columbia when i wakened from a sleep and dream in which i saw an open window and the curtains blowing. I knew that my ailing Mum had passed and checked the time. On landing i had a call from my daughter to tell me Mum ( in Scotland ) had died at exactly the time i wakened.
On travelling to Scotland I learned the nurse had opened the window when she died to let the soul depart.
I had never heard of this tradition!
Don’t underestimate or knock what you perhaps don’t understand!
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My father very sadly passed away very recently. I have heard of this tradition leaving a window open. The window in the hospital was only open 4-5 inches in height but wide from the bottom. Window behind my dads bed. It could not open anymore. I am worried as as only small opening to release his soul.
Please enlighten me.
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I cared for my Danish father up until his death. Yes, I did open the window for him. But about a
week after his death, a copper butterfly that he had purchased, and was on the triangle shelf (a traditional shelf of Zealand) and it was not far from the room he passed in, fell off and onto the floor. I know that it was secure on the shelf, along with other small Danish treasures. The house was very quiet at the time. I’m sure it was his spirit, and I was very elated.
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I found that commercial very offensive to take me hat right away from someone suffering I wonder if anyone else saw it that way.
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My mother worked as a nurse for all of her working life. She would always sit with a dying patient as she firmly believed nobody should die alone (even if unconcious) and she always openec the window to allow their soul to depart. To my infinite sorrow, i wasn’t with her when she died, but i hope she had the same treatment.
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When my mother took her last breath I clearly saw a white form leave her body through her mouth it came towards me and then moved away through the window the room became intensely cold when this happened. I found it very disturbing at the time. But I realise now it was her spirit leaving
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I recently found my Daddy deceased. It was to late for life saving measures. I made the appropriate calls & then I went back to spend some time in his presence. I know that sounds odd to a lot of people. My Daddy (I am 46) was all I had left. I had previously buried my only sibling and my mother. So I curled up on the floor next to him. Talking to him. I know that the body makes noises after it begins it’s Death Process. But I had just said Daddy I can’t lose you too. Then I heard it. I never in my life opened a window for a loved ones Soul. But when I heard the sound and I looked at him I knew I HAD to let him go. I simply didn’t want him trapped here. I immediately got up & opened the French Doors in his bedroom & told him to kiss my Ma & brother for me. I think just the simple act of opening that door told him & me I would/will eventually be ok. I will never be the same but it did give me a lil peace.
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Hi Melissa,
We are so sorry for your loss. It is so hard to lose your last surviving parent no matter how old you are. I’m happy that opening the door for him gave both of you some measure of peace.
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So the Scots have this tradition as well? As I am typing this, my mum is taking her last strained breaths.
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You know I actually feel like I’ve had an emotional breakdown this week. Like I was uncontrollable and manic! I don’t ever feel or remember feeling like this ever before. Lol nuts!
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Grieving and loss is intense and your emotions are unexpected. As a recent book on grief says “It’s Ok that you’re not ok.”
You may want to see a grief counselor.
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Grieving and loss is intense and your emotions are unexpected. As a recent book on grief is titled “It’s Ok that you’re not Ok.”
You may want to see a grief counselor.
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My mother-in-law is in the last days of her life as we speak. I will be here to open the window for her. My sister in law told me of this tradition.
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Isn’t it a wonderful tradition! I hope she had a beautiful a death as could be. It sounds like she had you watching over her with love. Thinking of you and your mother-in-law today!
Suzette, Founder
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My baby brother, age 65, passed 2 days ago. He was in a hospice home, I was with him when he took his last breath, as i am the only living sibling. The nurse came in and opened the window. Later my husband came in and asked why the window was open, and I said to let his soul depart. I don’t know if that’s why they opened it, but that was my first thought. It was very peaceful.
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Open the window,
My dear ones,
So I may travel,
To Them,
With haste.
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That was beautiful. Thank you for posting. My mom died this past Sunday and my sister and I did not get to the nursing home in time. As we sat with our mom after she was gone, my sister noticed the window in her room had been opened. We had attempted to open this window at other times but it was locked for safety reasons. Whoever performed this simple act of opening the window in her room at the time of her death gave us such a feeling of peace.
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