A True Story: Our Year Long Journey Preparing for Loss

In 2003, author and actor Matt Croke’s wife Lisa saw her mother diagnosed with cancer. In 2005, shortly after the birth of Matt and Lisa’s second daughter, Lisa discovered the lump on her own breast. Though doctors at first thought it was related to breastfeeding, Lisa was eventually diagnosed with breast cancer. Two years later, Lisa was pregnant with she and Matt’s third child.

During her pregnancy, Lisa’s cancer reemerged and spread to her lungs, liver and bones. To accommodate surgery and to avoid possible complications with chemotherapy, doctors suggested Lisa terminate her pregnancy, but she was determined to bring the baby safely into the world.

Throughout this pain and stress, Lisa finally lost her mother to cancer in 2008.

Matt Croke with his daughters

Their baby, Molly, was born that year, one month early, but healthy. Although she was able to bask in new motherhood for a few days, Lisa had begun to decline rapidly, the cancer spreading to her brain and other parts of her body. She was moved home to receive hospice care from her family before she passed away in the summer of 2008, just months after cancer had taken her mother’s life.

Last year, Matt Croke ran a Kickstarter campaign to fund a book about this tragic but uplifting experience. While Lisa was sick, her husband kept a journal to chronicle the story and channel his pain. Impressed with his wife’s strength, Matt’s story is not only one of tragedy, but also of the heartwarming perseverance of a woman faced with so much loss while preparing her own children to live without her.

Lisa pregnant & dying of cancer. Our two daughters about to lose Mom. Lisa’s Mom dying of cancer. I kept a journal. This is our story.

Of the book, Matt wrote: “This is an inside look during a time of losing someone you love, with a responsibility of moving forward for the sake of three young daughters. It is written in real time, day by day. I didn’t know what lay ahead. The story deals with emotion and the most difficult of decision-making, faced only with uncertain outcomes and worst fears. Every decision seemed like it might be the wrong one, every choice seemed like a 50 pound weight.

This is the story of Lisa and I trying to bring our unborn child safely into the world while preparing our other two daughters for life without Lisa. At the very same time, Lisa was preparing to lose her own Mom to cancer. We had two women, mother and daughter, living in the same house, both dying of cancer.”

The campaign raised more than twice its initial goal and wrapped up in May 2011. Lisa’s story is a powerful one, and we eagerly await the book.

While Lisa was home in hospice, Matt created Lisa’s Hope.org as a celebration of Lisa’s life and a demonstration of how others can make a difference in the lives of those around them, just as his wife did for the people around her. He also blogs about widowhood and now-single fatherhood at Widow’s Voice.

Read more personal stories of struggles, triumph, and loss to cancer at SevenPonds:

• Have fun with life! – the story of Francisco
• Remembering Her Life – the story of Candace

Image courtesy of lisashope.org