Ten Quotes on Disenfranchised Grief

Credit: Diva Plavalaguna

What happens to grief that isn’t given the space to exist? The term “disenfranchised grief,” coined by Dr. Ken Doka, refers to the various kinds of grief that aren’t socially recognized, accepted or supported. Also known as unacknowledged grief, this might include the death of an illicit lover, an ex-spouse, or a beloved pet. Loss resulting from a family rupture — such as a divorce, or a spouse who’s come out as gay — would also qualify. Scroll down to read some of our favorite quotes on disenfranchised grief.

1. “I want to feel what I feel. Even if it’s not happiness.” – Toni Morrison

 

2. “Because we don’t openly talk about grief in this culture, we have a flawed view of what it’s really like.” – Megan Devine

 

3. “Your absence is inconspicuous; Nobody can tell what I lack.” – Sylvia Plath

4. “There is no grief like the grief that does not speak.” – Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

 

5. “The healing power of even the most microscopic exchange with someone who knows in a flash precisely what you’re talking about because she experienced that thing too cannot be overestimated.” – Cheryl Strayed

 

6. “There is always a grief ritual happening somewhere in the [Dagara] tribe; it is always a way for people to not only acknowledge the hurt, but also that something else is being born within the self, because grief is a doorway to healing.” – Sobonfu Somé

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7. “An abnormal reaction to an abnormal situation is normal behavior.” – Viktor Frankl

 

8. What I needed was for someone to tell me that it hurt because it mattered.” – John Green

 

9. “Give the sorrow words; the grief that does not speak knits up the o-er wrought heart and bids it break.”
– William Shakespeare

Credit: Mark Plötz

10. “We have been sad long enough to make this earth either weep or grow fertile.” – Audre Lorde