Category Archives: So, You Got the News

Why Is It So Hard to Let Go?

Too many families are torn apart when a loved one is dying

Death and love are the two wings that bear the good man to heaven. ~Michelangelo Last week, I learned that my 90-year-old aunt was in the hospital with pneumonia and sepsis. This is her second admission in a little less … Continue reading

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It’s Time to Change our Language Around Illness and Death

The words we use to describe the experience matter more than we think

“To fear death, gentlemen, is no other than to think oneself wise when one is not, to think one knows what one does not know. No one knows whether death may not be the greatest of all blessings for a … Continue reading

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It Takes a Village

An African proverb about raising children speaks to the challenges of end-of-life care

“Only by binding together as a single force will we remain strong and unconquerable.” ― Chris Bradford In 1996, then First Lady Hillary Rodham Clinton penned a book, “It Takes a Village: And Other Lessons Children Teach Us.” The title … Continue reading

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How Can You Say Goodbye to Your Kids?

A young mother talks about how she is preparing for her death

When I was a pediatric oncology nurse, people often asked me,“How can you work with children with cancer? It’s so sad!” And I would invariably tell them, “Yes, it is, sometimes. But children are so resilient. They don’t feel self-pity … Continue reading

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“I Want to Die” — The Link Between Cancer and Suicide

Far too many people with cancer choose to take their own lives

“The thought of suicide is a great consolation: by means of it one gets through many a dark night.” ― Friedrich Nietzsche Receiving a cancer diagnosis is devastating. Suddenly, without warning, the world as you knew it comes to an … Continue reading

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The Dangerous Myth of a Good Death

Placing expectations on the dying can cause real harm

Keep some room in your heart for the unimaginable. ~ Mary Oliver As a pediatric oncology nurse, I saw more than my fair share of death. My dying patients were children — some infants, some toddlers, some teens — all … Continue reading

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