Beautiful Offerings to a Loved One

Getting inspired by other cultural practices can be a wonderful way to gather ideas for a memorial ceremony you may be creating on your own. When you lose someone you loved beyond words, putting an event together worthy of who they were can be a healing, meaningful part of the process. We look to Japan’s beautiful offerings to add to a loved one’s memorial celebration.

Offerings of flowers, food, candles & gifts placed in a wooden “boat”
(Credit: japanvisitor.com)

As more people choose cremation as their contemporary choice, it’s appropriate to look at Japan for inspiration given they have the highest cremation rate in the world, just short of 100%. They have so many beautiful ideas to share from their traditional memorial ceremony. It surprisingly begins with the family bringing the body of their loved one home to place on a futon for a night. A white cloth is laid upon the body, including a separate one on the face. Family members then sit with the body and comfortably talk and engage them. We see a similar practice gaining acceptance here in the US called home funerals.

Japanese “boats’ are set out to float as an offering to someone lost
(Credit: japanvisitor.com)

In the morning, their loved one is moved to where the service will take place with a quiet procession. A two-day wake follows — filled with a sequence of beautiful prescribed step-by-step observances made most special with flowers, incense, lights and sculptures. Once the cremation is over and the ashes with bone fragments put to rest, the true beginning begins with memorial ceremonies taking place every seven days until the forty-ninth day arrives. The custom is to have another memorial on the hundredth day as well as an annual ceremony until the fiftieth anniversary. This annual ceremony in Japan is called the Obon during which offerings are made in memory of a loved one.

A beautiful food offering on an altar during the Obon
(Credit: shinnyoen.org)

During the Obon, families visit a loved one’s grave to clean it and bring the spirit home with them. The Japanese also offer food and incense on an altar to the spirit of the person gone. On the final day of the Obon, they float “boats” or trays of gift offerings. This can be food, candles, flowers, or special paper memories set out to sea or on a river. This lovely custom has been outlawed yet continues on. It’s no surprise, given how beautiful it is.

You can make this idea your own to incorporate into an annual memorial event or as part of the service you’re creating.  One need not be Japanese to borrow ideas from their traditions — amazingly beautiful traditions that can be directly implemented or altered to fit the uniqueness of the ceremony you’re creating.

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