Mourning Loss in Brazilian Funerals
Credit: Flickr
Like the act of death, Brazilian funerals are celebrations that happen almost instantaneously at first, before they extend into a long, drawn out, grieving process. This is a tradition that is born out of necessity, as the warm and moist climate of Brazil is ideal for decomposition. For this reason, most funeral viewings must legally be held within 48 hours of the time of death.
Due to the hastiness at which a funeral must be prepared, traditional Brazilian funerals typically lack much of the formality that many Americans are familiar with. Despite the gravity of the occasion, funerals are a casual affair, with funeral-goers even dressing up in jeans to avoid having to frantically search for black tie attire. Likewise, it is uncommon for flowers to be brought as a gift, although close family members are encouraged to offer their time to help with chores, such as doing the dishes or a load of laundry to ease the responsibilities of the family in mourning.
This is an exercise in grief that seems almost refreshing, when compared to the somber silence that is required of most American funerals.
A funeral in Brazil is not a celebration, but a time of great pain and mourning. Family and friends are encouraged to wail and cry as loudly as they need to — to revel in the loss of the beloved person who has passed. This is an exercise in grief that seems almost refreshing, when compared to the somber silence that is required of most American funerals. Instead, loved ones are given the chance to let out their pain by even going so far as to kiss and hug the body of the person in the casket.
Funerals are typically held in velórios, which are buildings that are specifically used for mourning deceased family or friends. While some locations may have concession stands nearby where food and drink can be purchased, in most cases, food is not welcome at funerals, because it takes the mind away from the beloved person who has been lost.
Credit: Flickr
In modern times, it is becoming more common for some venues to offer ‘virtual wakes’ in tandem with the live wake. This is an outstanding breakthrough that gives far away relatives and friends the opportunity to mourn the loss of the deceased, despite any circumstances that may be preventing them from attending the actual funeral. Instead, they are able to connect to the venue where the funeral is being held, through an online program similar to Skype, so they can watch and grieve with relatives in real time.
In this way, friends and family are given a head start on actively working through their grief as they hold on to the memory of a person who has had a great impact on their lives.
While virtual wakes offer mourners a chance to say goodbye to the body in real time, oftentimes the Brazilian funeral mourning period will extend seven days past the time of death. During this time, masses and other memorial events may also be held for people to pay their respects. In this way, friends and family are given a head start on actively working through their grief as they hold on to the memory of a person who has had a great impact on their lives.
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