“How Do I Say Goodbye” by Dean Lewis

In his 2022 song “How Do I Say Goodbye,” singer-songwriter Dean Lewis wrestles with what it means to have a parent die. The subject material is autobiographical and intensely personal for Lewis, who wrote on Instagram that his father was diagnosed with an aggressive form of cancer and given a 25% chance of surviving the year. Fortunately, his father responded to treatment and his cancer is currently in remission, but the fear of potentially losing his father sparked Lewis’s creative genius. Lewis shared his feelings on Instagram: “I don’t think I’ll ever write a song as good or meaningful as this one again… although I won’t stop trying. I am consciously aware that these songs appear once every couple of years. It was an incredibly emotional song to write for me, I broke down a bunch of times. I knew it was special!”

The song begins by describing how his mother had left Lewis a message, asking him to come home. The singer immediately fears the worst, but also struggles with how impossible it seems to imagine life without his father. The heart of the song is in the chorus, which repeats: 

So how do I say goodbye

To someone who’s been with me for my whole damn life?

You gave me my name and the color of your eyes

I see your face when I look at mine

So how do I, how do I, how do I say goodbye?

Lewis goes on to describe how his dad always saw the best in him, always rooted for him, and was his closest friend. He talks about the way his mom and dad look at each other, and promises to take care of his mother if his dad dies. Lewis captures the disbelief of realizing that your parent is not invincible, and in fact may have only a short time to live. He reflects on gratitude for his father and how much he wants to share with him.

Dean Lewis
Credit: deanlewismusic.com

“How Do I Say Goodbye” is a poignant account of a young adult wrestling with the reality of his parent’s mortality. As children, our parents can be larger than life, and the thought of losing them seems impossible. Lewis’s song expresses love, fear, shock and grief, and it has resonated with millions. The song itself charted on both the Australian and U.K. top song lists, but a TikTok video of Lewis’s dad listening to the song for the first time and weeping has also gone viral. The moment feels intimate, and brings tears to my own eyes. Lewis’s song holds meaning for any parent, child, or person facing the loss of their support system.