What If I Never Get Over You?” by Lady Antebellum

“What If I Never Get Over You?” was the lead single on the band’s 2019 album, “Ocean.”

Grief in all its permutations is accompanied by a wide array of emotions: sadness, anger, longing, confusion and numbness are just a few of the many things we may feel in response to loss. But there is one response to grief that, while extremely common, is very often overlooked, and that is fear: fear that the pain will never go away, fear that we may never get back to the person we were before, and even the fear that we will never be able to love anyone again. Lady Antebellum (now Lady A) deftly addresses that almost universal experience in their 2019 single, “What If I Never Get Over You.”  

Written by Ryan Hurd, Sam Ellis, Laura Veltz, and Jon Green, “What If I Never Get Over You” was the lead single on Lady A’s 2019 album “Ocean.” According to Hurd, it was created as a  “portrait of perpetual, never-ending heartbreak” he imagined he would feel if he were forever separated from his wife, country singer-songwriter Maren Morris. And the song definitely succeeds in that regard. It begins with a simple truism about the pain of grief (sung by the group’s lead male vocalist Charles Kelley):

It’s supposed to hurt, it’s a broken heart
But the movin’ on is the hardest part
It comes in waves, the letting go
But the memory fades, everybody knows
Everybody knows

And then moves right into a heartbreaking refrain:

What if I’m tryin’, but then I close my eyes
And then I’m right back, lost in that last goodbye?
And what if time doesn’t do what it’s supposed to do?
What if I never get over you?

Lady A announced its name change in 2020 in response to their increased awareness of the suffering associated with the antebellum period in the U.S., during which slavery was widespread.

The lyrics are sung alternately by Kelley and Lady A’s lead female vocalist, Hillary Scott, but succeed best when the two blend their voices with the group’s third member, guitarist Dave Haywood, in the harmony that has characterized much of their best music (e.g., “Need You Now,” “Run to You”). Building slowly to a heart-rending final chorus, the song paints an almost too-clear picture of how loss can leave one struggling to believe that the pain will ever truly subside.

What if I never get over?
What if I never get closure?
What if I never get back all the wasted words I told ya?
What if it never gets better?
What if this lasts forever and ever and ever?

Isn’t that how we have all felt at one time or another — unable to conceive of a time when the pain of losing someone we love will not be felt so acutely; unable to believe that there will be day when we wake up and pain isn’t the first thing we feel? 

Lady A’s “What If I Never Get Over You” is a song for anyone who has ever experienced the loss of love. It will most definitely pull at your heartstrings and make you cry. But isn’t that exactly what we need sometimes? Isn’t that why we watch sad movies and listen to love songs that break our hearts? Because reliving the pain of loss puts us in touch with more than just our grief. It puts us in touch with the love we still feel, and it helps us remember the joy we felt when the person was still in our lives. 

Watch Lady A perform “What If I Never Get Over You” in the video below.