“You Should Be Here” by Cole Swindell

In September 2013, when country singer-songwriter Cole Swindell was on tour celebrating his first big recording contract, he received devastating news. His father, William, had been killed when a truck he was working on fell on him. In the midst of one of the happiest periods of his life, Swindell faced one of the most painful losses a child can experience — the death of a parent he dearly loved.

“You Should Be Here” is a song about the bittersweet commingling of joy and grief. Released in 2015 as the lead single on the album of the same name, it was co-written by Swindell and songwriter Ashley Gorley. It begins:

It’s perfect outside its like God let me dial up the weather,
Got the whole crew here, I ain’t seen some of them in forever
It’s one of those never forget it, better stop and take it in kinda scenes
Everything’s just right yeah except for one thing

You should be here, standing with your arm around me here
Cutting up, cracking a cold beer
Saying cheers, hey y’all it’s sure been a good year.

It’s one of those moments, that’s got your name written all over it
And you know that if I had just one wish it’d
Be that you didn’t have to miss this
You should be here.

Credit: 951nashfm.com

Swindell is singing about missing his father, of course. And about the inescapable fact that sharing the greatest moments of our lives with the people we love — parents, siblings, lovers, partners — is such an enormous part of what gives us joy. In the music video that accompanies the song,  we see Swindell on stage, being cheered by hundreds of fans and congratulated by exuberant friends. But in the lyrics, we hear the palpable sadness of a man who wishes more than anything in the world that he could share his success with his dad.

You’d be taking way too many pictures on your phone
Showing them off to everybody that you know back home
And even some you don’t yeah
They say now you’re in a better place
And I would be too if I could see your face

It’s a feeling that’s familiar to anyone who has lost a loved one — a sudden pang of intense grief at moments of enormous joy — the birth of a child, a marriage, college graduation — times when it seems almost impossible that the person we love is not there to share our happiness. A feeling of emptiness quite unlike any other, it can deeply color our experience for a long, long time.

“You Should Be Here” is not an uplifting song, but it is one that will resonate with anyone who is missing someone they love. Listening to it may make you cry, but it will also help you realize that your grief is a part of the love you still feel for that special person who is no longer in your life. Hopefully, you will find some comfort in knowing that.