”Unremarried Widow” by Artis Henderson

Falling in love is tough. You must open yourself up and allow yourself to be vulnerable for another person. But falling in love with someone who risks their life on a daily basis seems tougher—an experience recorded in Artis Henderson’s beautifully written memoir, Unremarried Widow. Artis Henderson’s book reflects on a few things in her life: the time spent with her husband and the time spent grieving, adjusting to life after her husband’s passing and relating her experience as a widow to her mother’s.

We enter the book with Artis Henderson telling us a little about herself as a person—her thoughts about herself, where she wants to go in life, and how she wants to live a meaningful life. Unsure of her future, she spends five dollars and five minutes with a psychic who predicts that she would fall in love with a Southern man. Unwilling to believe what the psychic said, she decides to go on with her life, when suddenly a Southern military man, Miles Henderson, enters her life. Each day she spends with Miles, the more they fall in love. As the book continues, it feels like we step out of the memoir and enter a romance novel because the story between Miles and Artis feels like a love story that couldn’t be true. Their adventures, fights, and make-ups seem are written so descriptively that it doesn’t seem possible for them to be taken from memory. But to continue reading their story means realizing that something has to end.

Artis dedicates a chapter to her father’s passing. She explains that he was an expert pilot. When she was five years old, she took a ride in a small plane with her father, but the tail caught onto some trees, and they crashed. Although she suffered major injuries, she survived, but her father didn’t make it. As a young child, she noticed her mother didn’t cry; people recognized her mother as a tough woman for being so strong.

Credit: Simon & Schuster

As the book continues, Miles is sent to Iraq. Just months after marrying Artis, he gets into an accident. This event, one that Artis knew could potentially happen, left her struggling. She was unsure of how to go about her daily tasks or even what to do with her young life. She continuously reflects back on how her mother behaved when she became widowed twenty years prior, but finds it difficult to be tough. Artis finds comfort in friends, support groups and another widowed military wife. Eventually, she learns that she will never get over Miles’s death but can try to make each day a little easier than the day before.

Unremarried Widow is a beautifully written memoir, with beautiful stories and memories. Artis Henderson walks us through her process for dealing with this particular traumatic event while making connections to other widows. While grieving is a continuous topic throughout the book, the topic of continuing to live is also essential. Artis is left with the task of having to continue on with her life, even when she thinks she cannot.

More from Lending Insight:

• Classic Book Review: “Frankenstein”
• Book Review: “Knocking on Heaven’s Door”
• Recommendations on how to live a long and healthy life