“Harold and Maude” (1971) by Hal Ashby

Harold and Maude is a 1971 dark comedic film, as well as a personal favorite of mine, based on a screenplay written by Colin Higgins. Higgins originally planned to direct it himself, but a test shoot left executives unimpressed, and Hal Ashby was hired to direct the film. The touching story explores how one young man’s obsession with death hinders every moment of his life until, at a funeral for complete stranger, he meets a spunky elderly woman who teaches him the importance of living every moment fully. Ashby depicts the extent of the Harold’s (Bud Cort) death obsession with young man’s wide variety of fake suicides, the funerals he frequently attends and his preferred mode of transportation—a hearse. The film conveys Harold’s journey to accepting—with the help of an unexpected friend and lover, a fiery elderly woman named Maude (Ruth Gordon)—that life itself can be wonderful.

Harold comes from a very wealthy family who expects him to settle down with a wife and create his own family. His socialite mother seems uninterested in getting to know her own son. Unmoved by his macabre antics, she watches unimpressed as he conducts multiple and often creative “suicides”, which range from hanging to cutting his wrists to setting himself on fire. In one memorable and humorous scene, she fills out for Harold a dating questionnaire with answers that represent her views more than his own. Meanwhile, his mother ignores him as he “shoots” himself out of boredom. She demands that he stop making horrible noises. In lieu of paying attention to a son desperate for her love and attention, she believes that a psychiatrist will solve all of his problems and conceal from society her unbecoming situation at home.

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Enter Maude: a lively elderly woman who lives every day fully and aims to die on her own terms, before she can no longer do the activities she finds invigorating. Upon meeting Harold, Maude declares that “80 is the perfect age” to die—which is the age she will turn the following week. Their friendship blossoms after she unknowingly steals his hearse, picks him up in it, then tells him to drive her home. She then invites him into her home—a display of hospitality which then triggers a sweet transformation in Harold. Throughout all their adventurous hijinks, he falls more and more in love with her. Unlike his mother, Maude accepts him wholly and shares the wisdom acquired from almost 80 years of life. In one such gem, she declares, “A lot of people enjoy being dead. But they are not dead, really. They’re just backing away from life. Reach out. Take a chance. Get hurt even. But play as well as you can. Go team, go! Give me an L. Give me an I. Give me a V. Give me an E. L-I-V-E. LIVE! Otherwise, you got nothing to talk about in the locker room.”

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When Maude makes the final decision to die on her 80^th birthday—a decision unbeknownst to Harold—Ashby focuses on Harold’s facial expressions as he learns the news. His face changes from confusion to sadness to fear. I was particularly moved by the way in which Harold’s experience of true love makes him afraid of the very thing—death—which he had never taken seriously. The reality of losing a loved one makes Harold realize that life is precious and should be cherished, that death comes when it must or when a person chooses that they have lived life to the absolute fullest. With a beautiful soundtrack of Cat Stevens‘ songs, Harold and Maude reminds viewers in a sweet way that not only that life should be filled with loving others, but that death should not be feared as long as one lives without regret.

Watch the trailer for “Harold and Maude” below:

• “I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.”
• What if you met your best friend at a funeral?
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