“Must You Go? My Life with Harold Pinter” by Antonia Fraser

From a distance, the marriage of Antonia Fraser, a notable British biographer and author, and the late Harold Pinter, the 2005 Nobel Laureate of Literature, would seem an unlikely match; Pinter having been rather irritable and abrasive, while Fraser more refined and tactful. Their courtship no less ruffled the feathers of the public considering both were married at the time they met, and Pinter was a known philanderer. And yet, despite public criticism and doubts, they remained together for 33 years. Many may have wondered why. Simply put: for love. And at the core, Fraser’s memoir Must You Go? My life with Harold Pinter is a love story.

The memoir, drawn mostly from her diary entries and supplemented by introspective narration, recounts their relationship from initial meeting through romantic affair —spanning years in which they encountered literary celebrities (including Nobel Prize winner Samuel Beckett and Academy Award winner Sir Tom Stoppard).  The account also details aspects of their home life, which was anything but dull (apparently Pinter had several quirks, including a phobia of flies). But Fraser doesn’t dwell on the established public perception of her husband as difficult and tyrannical. Rather, Fraser sheds a warm light on the man very few people saw — the witty humorist, the romantic, the poet.

As in most biographies of the deceased, death finishes off the book, with Fraser recounting the last seven years of her husband’s illness, ultimately leading to his death. Yet it doesn’t end in despair. Fraser gives a moving account of Pinter’s tenacious and daring determination to continue with his work, including poems he dedicated to her in his final months. In the end, Antonia Fraser has given her readers something much more interesting and touching than a simple account of her husband’s career and private life. With graceful intimacy and tender humor, Fraser unveils the man many thought they knew and affirms that even after death, love endures.