Grief is a Mess by Jackie Schuld

While Jackie Schuld’s book “Grief is a Mess” gives you the initial impression of being a sweet child’s book, it is anything but. Jackie may be a young woman, but the words she shares throughout her book clearly come from a deep place of much sorrow. She lost her mother to ovarian cancer in 2013. The book is short and consists largely of illustrations, but her words speak of someone who has grown well beyond her years through life’s unexpected pain. What better way to help yourself heal then to write and illustrate your own book about your personal grieving? We can’t help but feel along with her.

“Someone tried to tidy it up with five stages”

Excerpt Page 5

Jackie draws from a wide variety of endearing illustrations. We see animals, birds, insects and reptiles bring to life the range of emotions one experiences when traveling through grief. Her choice to use drawings of the earth’s fauna embraces anyone going through grief and immediately connects them with her words.

“…we all need different things to heal”

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She intentionally never mentions “your loved one” or “the person you loss.” Instead, she grapples with straight-up grief. I loved this about her book because it applies to any kind of grief, especially unacknowledged grief. Today we better understand that we all grieve for many reasons, be it a divorce, a child leaving home, a pet that disappears, a husband who is gay. These are all forms of unacknowledged grief.

Life is full of grief, and Jackie reminds us how we are each impacted differently by it every hour of every day. She kindly lets us know there is no norm; there is no expected path.This is a deeply personal book that shares the simple reality of what grieving is. It’s also a feel-good book, not because it ends with the sun shining and the world opening to endless blue skies, but because it helps us realize that whatever we may be feeling is completely OK. It reminds us that everyone who’s grieving is dealing with the same crazy mess. And that realization, well, it actually feels good.

“Because we’re all just trying to figure this mess out”

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And, yes, grief is a mess. Bless her sweet young heart for just saying it as it is…I end with a heavy hearted sigh.