Living Without the One You Cannot Live Without by Natasha Josefowitz

The book, “Living Without the One You Cannot Live Without,“ is visually written to appear like poetry, but it’s not really poetry as we know it. Yet there is indeed something poetic about its approach. More stream of consciousness, with carefully crafted words, that spill out in long threaded lines vertically down each page. The author, Natasha Josefowitz, allows us into her mind to hear her most inner thoughts and feelings about the loss of her husband, in the only way she knows, painful and honest. And there’s nothing like honesty to pave a path towards moving on in one’s life.

This skinny book of a woman’s journal is her personal journey she must travel after the loss of her husband of thirty-five years. It begins with the dreaded phone call from the doctor, informing them both of his cancer and subsequent six months to live. Her husband actually dies nine months later, leaving her to live life alone and fill blank pages with her daily grief. This book is her way of healing in a time span over her first few years. It’s also her bereavement gift to others following behind. She never actually says this; it’s just so deeply implicit in her words.

The author, Ms. Josefowitz, who has written many books over the years, constrains her thoughts to a topic per page. Each one is a new step in the many small steps to passing from a “half couple” after the shock of her husband’s death, to her acceptance to finally “reinvent myself” in her new life going forward. In her own words, she can at last find herself “…sitting alone, without feeling lonely, something has changed.”

Natasha Josefowitz

The Mirror

 

“My mirror is gone

I lost my refection

the reflection that said

“You look pretty tonight”

or “You did a good job”

I could ask my reflection

“What do you think of this?”

and my reflection would respond

always with great wisdom

my refection is gone

I no longer have that mirror

so i stare at emptiness

devoid of answers”

 

Excerpt from the book “Living Without the One You Cannot Live Without”

Sadly, I found the lackluster cover design and font a deterrent to allow this book to be the book it could have been in the hands of the right publisher. That aside, I soaked in her words such that I sat and read this book in one sitting and could not stop. So many of her pages resonated with me and often I thought – I’m not the only one who has had that experience, like “I Envy Couples” or “The Dopamine * Fix” (both titles being more or less self explanatory) for example.

Caring about Not Caring

 

“The things I used to care about

I no longer do

but I really do care

that I don’t care

about the things

I used to care about”

 

Excerpt from the book “Living Without the One You Cannot Live Without”

It is also the kind of book you can pick up when needed, to simply dip in to search for the topic that best reflects the moment of your own grief. Or you might even return to it years later. Quite frankly often I find a heavy-worded book can feel like an overwhelming commitment. Living Without the One You Cannot Live Without is light and easy but full of emotion and tears to help you feel not so alone. It’s a good gift for someone who has lost a beloved husband or wife, especially if they were deeply bonded. Additionally there are a few pages towards the end addressing the author’s Jewish heritage for those who are also of Jewish faith, but this book is for anyone who has lost a spouse.

If the title grabs you, then so will her words.