“When You Die You Will Not Be Scared to Die” by Lindsay Tunkl

“When you die you will not be scared to die,” by author and artist Lindsay Tunkl is a book that gets you thinking about dying in a way you have never experienced before. The words easily tap right into your ethos — filled with lines of meditation written in a real way, a truly contemporary way — just like the thoughts that go through your head on a daily basis. Its cover does not hold many words between the pages, but it need not, since every intentionally worded line immediately kicks your mind off in a new direction of thoughts about what it really would be like to die.

Can you already tell that I love this little book?

When I first saw “when you die you will not be scared to die”, I could not help but be drawn to its little black cover stamped with its intriguing words in white. Although it’s both an art book and a book of meditations, it was the meditations that I fell in love with. For the life of me, I cannot engage in traditional lay-there-and-mind-travel meditation, but this book easily tapped into my consciousness and got my thoughts flying and traveling in unexpected ways. I thought “Oh, this is meditation!” It’s short, concise and refreshingly real in its words and approach. What a joy to not have my mind wander as I try to grasp each word (like I do with so many such books), but instead to have my attention firmly held, and then explore my own thoughts based on what the author presents. 

Each of the 24 pages of Lindsay Tunkl’s meditations begins with the words, “When you die…” followed by a statement, such as a personal belief, an expectation, a pragmatic part of life, or a myth we hold on to. For example:

“When you die you won’t have unreasonable expectations.”

“When you die you won’t have deadlines.”

“When you die you won’t question the accuracy of memory.”

The meditations are followed by Lindsay Tunkl’s afterword and a list of books on death and dying that impacted her perspective.

The meditations got me thinking about dying in a pragmatic way, considering all the little things I take for granted that fill up each day, and expanding my awareness of the greater picture of life as a whole. And I experienced mediation (in the traditional sense) for the first time in my life. It was soul searching — it actually haunted me, but in a positive way.  

The greatest attribute of “When you die you will not be scared to die” is that it’s very positive about death. It actually made me feel good about dying (I won’t repeat this, but I want you get this very important point). I personally don’t have a fear of death. But I do want to enjoy living as long as I can, and this book points out all the many ways you can look forward to death in a beautiful, optimistic and profound way.

In her afterword, the author speaks of how she treasures her lover so much she is already foreseeing losing her, and how she has begun to mourn, well in advance of any possible reason for her loss. As with most of her meditations, I related to this as well. Like the earth’s rotation, our feelings and responses are a cyclical pattern, like life and death. It was refreshing to read words that rang so spot on for me. 

This book is Lindsay Tunkl’s gift to take our fear of death away. It inadvertently makes you realize how unimportant all the parts of life we think are terribly important really are. It made me realize how much I should love each and every day, and how our pain, struggles, judgements — all the “negative” aspects of life — are actually a joy to feel because they are what life is made of. And if you are reading her book, you are alive, indeed. This is a book of truths that will set you free to live and to die.

This was a mind-altering book for me. One I will keep at my bedside to help make things clearer when there is a need. Especially right now as my parents are approaching 90, and everything our magazine is about is coming at me full force. As Lindsay Tunkl notes at the end of every page of meditations, “When you die you won’t know you’re dead.” And could anything be as honest or peaceful as that?