“Wild and Precious Life” by Deborah Ziegler

By now, almost everyone has heard the name Brittany Maynard and knows the story of her tragic death from a brain tumor at the age of 29. Brittany, who moved from California to Oregon to take advantage of that state’s Death with Dignity Law, made national headlines when she spoke to the media about her desire to die on her own terms. When she finally ended her life on Nov. 1, 2014, an entire nation mourned.

Despite her fame, however, few people knew much about the real Brittany. She shared her story, but the details of her life and death were largely hidden from public view. We saw her as a tragic figure — the “Joan of Arc” of the death with dignity movement in the United States. And in many ways that is exactly who she was. By coming forward, she put a face to the suffering of people who are faced with the prospect of a certain but lingering death. And her video-taped testimony about her decision to end her life — played posthumously in front of the California state legislature — was in large part responsible for the passage of the state’s End of Life Options Act in 2015.

Now, in “Wild and Precious Life,” Brittany’s mother opens up about her beautiful, intelligent and often-difficult child. We meet Brittany as a little girl — the daughter of a twice-divorced single mother who did everything in her power to give her only child a “perfect” life. And we watch through her mother’s eyes as Brit, as Deborah calls her, grows into a gorgeous young woman whose impulsive nature and independent spirit gradually morph into risk-taking behaviors that drive her mother (and eventually Brittany’s new stepdad, Gary) mad. Years later, Deborah learns that Brittany’s endless thirst for novelty was very likely the result of the tumor that had been growing in her brain for nearly a decade. And she wonders over and over, “Should I have known something was wrong? Was there anything I could have done?”

Brittany Maynard with her mother, Deborah Ziegler
(Credit: yahoo news.com)

“Wild and Precious Life” is not an easy book to read. It’s terribly sad. I cried through most of it. But it is also brutally honest about Brittany’s all-consuming rage and how it intersected, often in terrible ways, with Deborah’s all-consuming grief. Brittany railed constantly against the illness that stole her dreams. Even as she struggled to grab every morsel of joy and beauty from what was left of her life, her anger was a palpable and often horrible force — one that she directed almost exclusively at her mom. And while we understand that — mothers are a safe place to vent our rage — it is still hard to continue reading as Deborah describes the cruelty she endured, cruelty Brittany would almost always forget moments after it occurred.

In the end, though, “Wild and Precious Life” is a hopeful book. Brittany’s courage and determination helped ensure that hundreds of people living with terminal illness will not have to uproot themselves from their homes at a time when home is where they need to be. She opened the door for a national conversation about dying with dignity, and showed the world what dying on your own terms can be. She withstood a great deal of criticism and never let herself be intimidated by the people who called her decision selfish or morally reprehensible. And she left a legacy of love — one that shines through in a final message she left for her mom:

Credit: dailymail.co.uk

To my dearest mother —

“There is no road map to heal from the loss of a child, but you should trust your instincts. No matter how powerful and painful the heartbreak, that breaking is opening up a door to a new life. One that is not better, but different and not necessarily worse, just changed because of this pain. I know your strength because I have seen it. I have felt it. It has changed my life. It will carry you on to more greatness in life….That is who you are. 

All my love always, 
Your Daughter, Brittany