“Dead to Me” by Liz Feldman

Jen and Judy meet at a grief support group in the Netflix dramedy “Dead to Me.”

Imagine the antics of Lucy and Ethel without Desi and Fred — played out through a much darker scenario of bereavement and crime-solving. That pretty much sums up the mojo of the two youngish women who share top billing in the 2019 Netflix series “Dead to Me.” Both are introduced as having lost the love of their lives — Jen (Christina Applegate), her husband and Judy (Linda Cardellini), her fiancé. They bond on the spot when they meet at a grief support group, become fast friends, and start a series of shenanigans connected with their shared interest in the unsolved hit-and-run accident that killed Jen’s husband three months earlier.

Riveting Pilot (No Spoilers Here)

Trust me, to venture past revealing the basic conflict that ties the half-hour pilot to the 10-episode bloc would ruin creator Liz Feldman’s deliberately structured ebb and flow of motives, surprises and consequences as Jen and Judy’s friendship evolves. Suffice to say that USA TODAY dubbed the series best binge watch of 2019. Netflix recently announced season two is slated to be released sometime in the spring/summer of 2020. 

The pilot episode of  “Dead to Me” has all the glue it takes to secure a returning audience. There are the two polar-opposite California women: Jen, a high-end real estate agent, and Judy, the free-spirited bohemian. They are both stung by the loss of a loved one and share a personal stake in the quest to solve a heinous crime the cops lack sufficient leads on. Light doses of comic relief slip in through their coping mechanisms, including wine-infused nighttime “pillow talks” shared by the leading ladies over their phones and a pot-infused conversation on a moonlit California beach.

The next four segments add plenty of acerbic dark humor, a sassy gay character (Max Jenkins), a touch of romance and a well-played villain (James Marsden) to assure the viewers will remain loyal through to the series’ quirky, if not messy resolution.

An Accurate Portrayal of Grief

But it’s not plot development that sets”Dead to Me” apart from popular TV series fare. That distinction comes in its nuanced portrayal of female friendship that takes their grieving seriously. When Jen is not coping she’s in the bathroom muffling her sobs with a pillow so her young sons won’t hear her. Or she’s lashing out in anger to the support group facilitator. Or she’s driving, albeit recklessly, while headbanging to the metalcore blast of “Paralyzed” by Caliban. Judy’s demons are not as raucous, but they run deep and seem to gnaw at her more and more as each episode streams. The contrast reveals how uniquely we all grieve.

In an interview with The Advocate, Liz Feldman says she created the show based on her own experiences. “I wanted the show to be seen through a female lens, from a female perspective, because that’s who I wanted it to be for.” Feldman goes on to explain, “I’m a comedian, so I can’t help but look at even the darkest things through a comic lens. It’s just how I cope with life. And I wanted to make a show that felt like life, that was funny when it needed to be funny and was sad when it needed to be sad, and a show that had twists and turns. Honestly, just like life does.”

Liz Feldman
Credit: Liz Feldman Facebook photos

Feldman says she came up with the idea of the show when she was 40 and in the throes of trying to deal with her cousin’s sudden death from a heart attack. Even though Jen and Judy are so different from one another, Feldman says she used the power women find in commiserating with somebody who really understands what they’re going through emotionally in the development of Jen and Judy’s friendship.

“You don’t need to have background with each other. You don’t need to know every little thing about the other person. But you know where their heart is, and that’s an incredible connection. And that’s what I was trying to explore with their relationship,” she explains.

While the bereaved mother of “Dead to Me,” is portrayed so well, her two young sons are not so transparent. The oldest (Sam McCarthy) is suspect of his mom’s new friend. The  youngest (Luke Roessler) is cheerful but anxious and needy. At one point in the season, Jen says the boys are doing fine, but the storyline suggests — not so much.

I wonder if their struggles will be played out more fully in season two. Whatever happens, based on the 2019 season of “Dead to Me,” there is one thing I’m sure of. Not everything we’ve seen in season one will turn out to be what it seemed.