“The Goodbye Book” by Todd Parr

Credit: ebooks.org

“The Goodbye Book,” written by bestselling author Todd Parr, is a children’s picture book that matter-of-factly and simply addresses what it means to lose someone you love. The book features a goldfish who has lost his companion, his green fish friend. The goldfish serves as a guide through the journey of saying goodbye to someone and the range of feelings one might have in the wake of loss. “It’s hard to say goodbye to someone,” the book begins.It then acknowledges that “you might not know what to feel,” “you might be very sad,” or “you might be very mad.” It normalizes all of these reactions, which is important for children who may be confused by their own feelings and need reassurance that all of their emotions are acceptable.

Author Todd Parr
Credit: toddparr.com

“The Goodbye Book” goes on to name the ways that feelings might play out through different behaviors. The book addresses different manifestations of grief, such as the desire to withdraw, the loss of sleep or appetite, and the impulse to repress and avoid one’s feelings.

Parr reassures his readers that after some time passes, the grief will change shape and they will eventually start to enjoy life again. He acknowledges the roller coaster of healing — that there are “days when you feel up,” and “days when you feel down,” and moments that you’ll think about the person who is gone and miss them. Parr lets the reader know that sorrow after loss is normal. “We all get sad when we say goodbye to someone,” he writes. He finishes the book with some sage, straightforward advice: “Try and remember all the happy times you shared together.”

Credit: ilovekidsbooks.com

What happened to the green fish is never explained in the book, and this ambiguity leaves room for children going through different types of loss to relate their own story to goldfish’s journey.

Some beautiful, profoundly affecting children’s books that address loss use poignant metaphors and poetic language that encourages deep reflection and end up seeming like they’re more for adults than the children they are ostensibly written for. This is not one of those books. “The Goodbye Book” speaks to young children (ages 3-8) directly, in a clear and nurturing voice, simply letting them know that their feelings are valid and that things will get better. Parr’s trademark boldly colored illustrations serve as an adorable background to the text.