Our Monthly Tip: Say Goodbye with Flower Petals

Our Tip of the Month

Sometimes the simplest of ceremonies is the most meaningful, and this is particularly true when someone dies. All too often, when we are searching for some way to pay homage to a loved one, we are too caught up in our grief and sadness to see that a simple gesture done with great love is all that is needed to say a heartfelt goodbye. Just sprinkling the body with flower petals, for example, is a wonderful way to bid farewell.

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How-to Suggestions

A flower ceremony is a simple yet beautiful way for friends, family and loved ones to say goodbye to someone who has died. It can be performed at home, if you are honoring the person at a home funeral. Or it can be done at the funeral home if you are having a viewing there. In either case, the goal of the ceremony is to bring the mourners together in community to say goodbye to the person they love.

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To prepare for the ceremony, gather baskets of flower petals or a mixture of flower petals, twigs and leaves. If at all possible, use wildflowers or flowers from your garden or the garden of someone you know — these are best for the environment and have the added advantage of being free. Rose petals are wonderfully lovely and fragrant. But you can also use hyacinth, lilacs, jasmine, tuberose, or sweet peas, to name just a few. Place the petals in small individual baskets, or prepare one or two large baskets to pass among your guests. The choice is up to you.

When everyone has some flower petals, invite those who were closest to the person who died to scatter a few petals on the body as they say goodbye. There is no need to say or do anything else. If the mourner wishes to say a few words or recite a poem, let them know they’re welcome to do so, but it’s not required.

After the ceremony, give the baskets and remaining flower petals to the mourners as keepsakes along with some written suggestions about how to preserve the petals, such as these ideas from Wikihow.

See an example of a flower ceremony held at the Zen Hospice Project in San Francisco in the video below.

BJ Miller talks about Flower Petal Ceremony from Zen Hospice Project on Vimeo.