How to Transition Through Grief and Loss? An Interview With Ligia Houben

Today SevenPonds speaks with Ligia Houben, who has her own private practice and conducts workshops on grief and loss in Miami, Florida.  She is the executive director of The Center for Transforming Lives. She has a BA in Psychology and religious studies from the University of Miami and a Graduate Certificate in Gerontology from Florida International University. Ligia Houben specializes in grief & loss for Hispanics and is an author of various books on the subject. Her approach to dealing with the stages of grief is through her own experience of what evolved as the “11 Principles of Transformation”. She teaches a variety of classes around bereavement, aging, spirituality and grief.

Suzette: What took place in your life that led you to work in grief and loss?

Ligia: I lost my father when I was 12 years old. It was a journey for me over the years of my own healing. I was a Psychology major in college and then decided to write a biography in Spanish. It was an amazing excerise for me. As I was writing, it became my book, “Transform Your loss. Your Guide to Strength and Hope” about the pain in my heart over the loss of my father. It changed my relationship with him and my heart became alive! This was when I found my calling in life, which is to help others do the same.

Suzette: We have all heard of the stages of grief, so tell me about your 11 Principles of Transformation?

Ligia: I feel so grateful to God. My father died on 11/11. When I wrote my first book, I just started to write and when I was finished, I realized I had 11 principles. It just happened this way. They are steps to take in your life to visualize a new life through guided imagery. The stages of grief are more passive and the 11 principles take action.

Suzette: So I understand you have a speciality of consulting Hispanics through their grief and loss? 

Ligia: Yes. Hispanics have different transitions and customs. It’s about family and how we deal with families who are more expressive.

Tell me what is different about death for Hispanics?

The Center for Transforming Lives

Ligia: Well they go through a lot of loss when they migrate to the U.S. They experience loss of their homeland, loss of language and then some have a death in the family. They are coping with multiple losses. They have rituals that are important, like wearing black for a year and some wear it for up to 3 years. There is the custom of loud and very social funeral services where, for example, in Cuba they drink a Cuban coffee as part this gathering together. These rituals are very important. Then sometimes there is the difficult task of getting a loved one’s body back to their country. It can add even more grief. There are many Hispanic countries, each having their own rituals.

Suzette: I have to ask about your offering hypnosis. I tried it years ago for public speaking and enjoyed it. How did you decide to intregrate it into your practice?

Ligia: For 16 years I did not talk or cry about my father’s death. I then tried hypnosis age regression and relived the entire event. It helped me heal. It would make me feel so tired but also so light. Now I have been offering hypnosis for 10 years.

Suzette: Please, would you share some tips for those who have a Hispanic friend who has suffered a loss?

Ligia: Sure.

Ligia Houbens’s 3 Tips On How to Help a Hispanic Friend Who Has Experienced a Loss

1 – Give space and validation about their experience.

2  – Ask what’s important to them; religion, family, rituals?

3 – Ask what you can do?

Suzette: Thanks Ligia!

Ligia: Thanks

For further information visit the website on The Center for Transforming Lives in Miami, Florida offers individual and family consultations for grief and loss. There are workshops and meditation and yoga classes to help you heal.

View a video of Ligia Houben suggesting ideas to help those who are grieving during the most diffiicult time of the year, the holidays.

Read about grief and loss on SevenPonds:

• What is Degriefing? An interview with Lyn Prashant.
•  Read about suggestions on how to heal and the stages of grief in our section “Healing Process”.