What Is Songs for Life?

Morgan Bolender sits on the board of You’re Going To Die, a Bay Area, California-based nonprofit dedicated to bringing diverse communities into the conversation of death and dying. She is also the head of Songs For Life, a program run by You’re Going To Die that brings musicians to the bedsides of hospice patients, to share music and company. Morgan is also a passionate singer-songwriter.  

Editor’s note: This interview has been edited for length and readability.

Ellary Allis: Can you give me a little background on yourself and your passion for music?

Morgan Bolender: I started playing music when I was 24, so actually kind of late. I quit everything I was doing — the career stuff, grad school — and I moved into the jungle of Hawaii onto an organic farm. I decided to stop doing the things that weren’t feeding my soul. Suddenly, I had a lot more time and space. It was scary, but from that space emerged my voice. Singing is my favorite thing to do and finding it has been the greatest gift of my life, and it’s brought me to some of the most incredible people and places. I was scared of singing. Singing is like soul turned inside out. But I actually teach singing now. I support people in excavating their voice.  

Ellary: What Is You’re Going To Die?

Morgan: You’re Going To Die is a non-profit dedicated to bringing diverse communities creatively into the conversation of death and dying. You’re Going To Die started in 2009 as a little open mic in the apartment of Ned Buskirk, the founder of the nonprofit. Originally the premise was “You’re going to die, so you might as well get up here and share what you need to share.” And then when Ned’s mother-in-law died it shifted, and it became more a conversation about mortality. 

I discovered You’re Going To Die by going to an open mic in San Francisco four years ago and fell in love immediately. It’s pin-drop silence, and it’s laughter and it’s tears. It’s about removing the delusion of immortality and creating an amazing, intimate community. It’s not just music that’s shared: people share poetry, prose.

We became a non-profit a year and a half ago. Songs For Life was Ned’s idea and he got a grant to get it started. It was such an exciting program to me that I became a member of the board that took it on.  

Ellary: Is your primary role in the organization being a member of the board?  

Morgan: I’m also the head of Songs For Life. Songs for Life is a free program run by You’re Going To Die where musicians offer free music and companionship to hospice patients. We play music for them that we hope they like, and if they are interested we get to know them and ultimately write a legacy song about their lives. It’s for them and for their families and greater communities. The plan is that eventually, we’ll have shows specifically geared towards those songs, where our normal You’re Going To Die community comes but also the hospice patients and their friends and families.  

Ellary: How often does You’re Going To Die put on shows?

Morgan: You’re Going To Die typically does open mics twice a month, and then bigger, curated events every few months. 

Ellary: What are those bigger curated events?

Morgan: They’re amazing. They’re usually a mix of music and poetry and storytelling.  The word has been getting out and we’ve been selling out our events. We’re seeing more and more need for spaces like that where people can be honest about death, together. We’ve done events at the Great American Music Hall, The Swedish American Hall…big venues! 

Ellary: Are the You’re Going To Die open mics open to the public?

Credit: Thebaybridged.com

Morgan: Yes! Anyone can come, although they’ve started selling out weeks in advance. It’s important to us that everyone can come, also. The cover is really affordable, but if somebody can’t pay the $10, we ask them to reach out to us and we put them on a list.  

This concludes part one of our interview with Morgan Bolender. Please check back next week for part two of our discussion, when we continue to talk about You’re Going To Die and Songs For Life.