What is an Eco Funeral? An Interview with Deb Cairns, Part One

Today, SevenPonds speaks with Deb Cairns of State of Grace: Family Directed Funerals in Auckland, New Zealand. After her dear friend died of cancer, she was inspired to create in-home or family-directed funeral services that provide a “caring, compassionate and highly personalized approach to death care and funeral arrangements.” In the first half of her two-part interview, Deb talks about the beauty of caring for a loved one after death, what to expect from that first home funeral consultant meeting, and what it’s like to be in the presence of a dying person.

Deb Cairns.
(credit: State of Grace)

MaryFrances: What is State of Grace? What are some of the services you provide?

Deb: We are a women-owned and operated eco funeral business, and have been operating for around 8 years now. Our model is small, niche, boutique – we work very closely with our families and describe our service as family-led – encouraging each family to have as much involvement as possible in every aspect of the care of the loved one who has died.

We offer full funeral arrangements, but with careful regard impact on the environment of every step of our service. Our services range, but we can provide kinds, just like the bigger companies – but with a subtle twist! We encourage the use of eco-caskets, or the use of a rental casket with the liner that is cremated thus saving the burning of expensive coffins. We [also] avoid unnecessary embalming – currently our embalming rate is at around 7% of our clients, whereas the national average here in New Zealand is over 90%.

“…our embalming rate is at around 7% of our clients, whereas the national average here in New Zealand is over 90%.”

Our alternative to embalming is our coolroom- where our clients can be kept cool for up to two weeks with no intervention or chemical treatment, just a gentle wash down with essential oils. One of the services that we offer and few others do is the care of the deceased person in their own home, using simple ice packs and encouraging the family to help out.

MaryFrances: What are some words you would use to describe your work?

Deb: Compassion, respect, integrity, love, care and authenticity.

MaryFrances: Could you walk us through an example of a ‘typical’ home funeral process?

Deb: Often, a family would have made contact with us prior to someone dying. So they will ring, for example, and tell us a family member has passed away. We’ll talk calmly with them for a few minutes to get a little what-who-where information, and also to give them time to clear their heads and feel reassured.

We ask that they let the family doctor know, and then we head over to the home, armed with ice packs and the required paperwork, etc. We greet the family with hugs on arrival—it just feels natural to—and then ask to meet the person who has died, always greeting them by name and sitting with them for a bit with the family. Then, we ensure that they are clean, dry and comfortable.

Some of the women of State of Grace relax after a hard day’s work.
(credit: State of Grace Funerals, Facebook)

If the family is ready, we can wash and dress the person with their help. We place ice packs around the abdomen, make sure they are as cool and natural as possible, attend to any other practical matters to ensure that the experience of having the person at home is as stress-free as possible for the family. We then sit with the family and plan the funeral, discuss options for a venue, catering, casket—all of the practical considerations. Before we go, we ensure that a roster of sorts is established for changing the ice packs every few hours. The beauty of this is that it gives the family a real reason to touch and care for the body of the one they love – they can care for that person right to the very end.

“The beauty of this is that it gives the family a real reason to touch and care for the body of the one they love – they can care for that person right to the very end.”

MaryFrances: What is it like to be in the presence of someone who has just passed?

Deb: We are rarely present when someone dies, but are often at the home soon after. To me, the feeling in the air feels exactly the same as the one at a birth! People speak in hushed tones; things feel gentle; yes, there is sadness but also so much love—emotions are being expressed, hugs and tears and a myriad of human emotions are there. It is a powerful and charged feeling, hard to describe but there is certainly a common theme: sad and beautiful, and we always feel so very privileged to be a part of it.

You can read part two here.