Cuddle Cots Give Parents of Stillborn Children More Time to Say GoodbyeCuddle Cots are helping parents of stillborn babies say goodbye to their children in an unhurried, intimate and intentional way. Cuddle Cots are moses-style baskets with a built-in cooling system that allows parents to keep the body of their child with them in the hospital for a day or two, or take the body home for the span of time between stillbirth and funeral/disposition of remains. In many hospitals where a Cuddle Cot is not available, parents must request to see their child’s body, which is then retrieved from the morgue.
Credit: flexmort.com
Cuddle Cots are manufactured by a company called Flexmort. On its website, the manufacturer explains that the Cuddle Cot cooling pad can be used in any basket, crib, pram, or bed, and is linked to an insulated hose that connects it to the Cuddle Cot cooling unit. Because a stillborn infant’s body will warm and begin to decompose quite quickly at room temperature, Cuddle Cot technology has played a big role in helping bereaved parents through their grief journey by giving them time to dress, take photos with, or simply hold the body of their child close while coming to terms with the shock of loss.
A Cuddle Cot, which are currently being used in hospitals all over North America, the UK, and Australia, in use at the University of Alberta Hospital in Edmonton, AB, Canada
(Credit: edmontonjournal.com)
Stillbirths are very difficult for parents who have planned for a new addition to their family for the span of an entire pregnancy. Lifestyle habits, routines, purchases and investments, prayers and plans create a cradle to welcome a new life far before it makes its grand entrance. So, when a baby is stillborn, that child already has a place in the lives of the parents and community. Additionally, when a woman goes into labor, her brain chemistry naturally shifts as oxytocin, known as the “love hormone,” floods her synapses to prepare her for the unconditional love necessary to nurture a child through the first stages of life. It is for all these reasons, and for reasons too complex for anyone who has not experienced stillbirth to imagine, that the Cuddle Cot has been internationally recognized as positively contributing to mental health.
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This post could also be tagged “family directed home funeral.” The home funeral movement is already addressing the need to spend time with an infant or newborn who dies. Most states allow families to take the bodies of their loved ones home (see “Final Rights” by Joshua Slocum and Lisa Carlson) for honoring and saying goodbye. In most cases, “blue ice” or re-freezable injury cold paks are enough to slow body decomposition.
I am encouraged to read that hospitals are supporting the family and their infant for good-bye saying and including their family and community in their grief by allowing them to be with the baby.
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