When Will So Many Conferences on Death & Dying Cease to Happen Around Halloween?
Wrapping a body in a shroud demonstration at “National Home Funeral Alliance” Conference
I just came off a five-week string of conferences centered around death and dying. All of them were amazing to attend, but all of them took place just before Halloween (In fact, I noticed at many of them, there was an array of skirts, blouses, scarves and such sporting colorful skulls for the occasion).
I mentioned this Halloween factor to a friend and she laughed out loud. I confess it was already bothering me. I realize it’s important that this topic gather attention, but I wonder for how long it will continue to be hooked on the star of our spookiest national holiday. When will the image of death shed its age-old macabre stereotype?
The National Home Funeral Alliance conference was anything but macabre. It was an amazing gathering in Los Gatos, California, largely consisting of women who feel passionate about the loving process of caring for our dead. Their agenda is to educate the public of our legal right to keep a loved one at home – to allow each person to let go when we are ready, be it a few hours or days after death. I attended an on-hands class about how to care for a body. It centered around what you need to do to lovingly keep your dead parent, spouse, child or family member at home with you until you are ready to say your final words. The conference was filled to the brim with love, gentleness, warmth and education. Except for the Halloween-inspired attire, there was nothing unnerving or morbid about the weekend. BTW this conference is open to the public.
Women gather to sing to a person posed as dying at the “Death OK” conference
Death OK conference identity
The Death OK conference was a force of love and change in motion to be reckoned with. An unexpected showing of 500, also mostly women, came together in Portland, Oregon to bond, attend workshops, rethink and augment the way we practice every aspect of the end-of-life process. While the conference identity has a green skull, the talks were all in the vein of sensitivity around a wide range of topics. Feel free to check out the workshops here.
I did return home from my round of conferences in time to carve pumpkins and hand candy out to little ones in their costumes. Yet I wonder – when will so many conferences on death and dying cease to be compelled to happen around Halloween?
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I don’t think there’s any reason to conflate conferences on death, and skeleton art/clothing with Halloween. Autumn is conference season in most fields. Winter too difficult to travel; spring is for brides and busy with school/kids/gardens; summer is vacations. As for the momento mori, every day is a good day to wear skeleton/death positive clothing and jewelry – and many people do. In the traditions it is derived from (Latin, African, and others) it represents a close connection with one’s Ancestors, and a sense of unity with death.
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Wow. As someone who was at the NHFA conference and indeed decked out daily in “an array of skirts, blouses, scarves and such sporting colorful skulls…” let me be sure you understand that this had absolutely NOTHING to do with your “Halloween factor!” Au contraire. My favorite day of the year is November 1st when we can finally put all of this Halloween nonsense behind us! Better yet, November 1st is All Saints Day when many folk around the world pause to remember their beloved deceased and may, like me, host a Day of the Dead party for this very reason. My wearing skulls signifies that I am comfortable with death, and it never fails to engage people in a conversation about same. Oh, I love the skulls, “dem bones,” our enduring sticks. And the thought of Halloween and all its concomitant stupidities never crosses my mind when I go to grab a skull-adorned piece of clothing from my closet! And I grab and wear my skull clothing twelve months a year!!!!
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In art the skull, in particular, is a ‘memento mori’, a reminder that in life we are in death, and so it behoves us to live as well as we can, perfecting our moral character, etc. And to those who are paying attention, death happens all year round: albeit with a dip in July, perhaps, which is traditionally a quiet month in the undertaking trade!
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Too bad so many people are on vacation in July, enjoying the dearth of deaths. Sounds like it could be the perfect month for a death conference.
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I believe that the timing of Death:OK was based on venue availability, with the three choices being Reed College’s spring break, fall break or summer vacation. Fall break was chosen simply because it was soonest, but as a Pagan I appreciate the concern.
Thirty years ago it was cute to schedule events around solstices or equinox weekends. Today it seems about as cute as scheduling around Thanksgiving, Christmas or New Year!
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Thanks to all of you for your thoughts and comments!
I admit I enjoy all the skull clothing & accessories but failed to shoot any images at the various conferences.
Perhaps some of the events were not intended to align with Halloween (I had considered that) – I just look forward to a more uplifting view of the topic going forward.
Thanks!
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