A Doctor Speaks of Checking Facebook to Gain Compassion

Credit: louisprofeta.com

On October 24, 2018, Dr. Louis Profeta, an Emergency Room physician at St. Vincent Hospital in Indianapolis, Indiana, wrote a post on Linked In. That post was picked up by major news outlets both in the United States and in Britain and presented as a news item.

Why?

Because immense compassion is worthy of attention.

Delivering Devastating News

Even though death at a hospital is a common enough experience, doctors receive very little training on how to deal with informing the family, particularly in cases of sudden death.

The American Medical Association says a doctor has the responsibility to deliver the news with compassion, but there are few guidelines on how to do this. After a tragedy, distraught friends and relatives experiencing shock and disbelief congregate in a tight, unfamiliar setting. Emotion runs high. It is a difficult, tense situation for the family. It is stressful for the doctor. Understandably, many doctors are uncomfortable and do not deliver the terrible news with compassion but rather with a rote saying and blank expression: “In spite of our best efforts… ”

Dr. Louis Profeta takes a different approach.

Checking Facebook to Gain Compassion

Credit: NBCnews.com

Time after time, Dr. Profeta is called to tell families about the sudden death of a loved one. The loved one is often a younger person who died because of carelessness, drug and/or alcohol abuse, or as a consequence of very bad decisions. Dr. Profeta keeps his anger at the stupidity and loss of life in check by finding out who the victim was when they were alive. He checks their Facebook accounts.

“I check your Facebook page before I tell them you’re dead because it reminds me that I am talking about a person, someone they love—it quiets the voice in my head that is screaming at you right now shouting: ‘. . . how could you do this to them, to people you are supposed to love!'”

Dr. Profeta focuses on the person who has died. He makes the death personal so that a tragic loss does not become just another statistic in the ever-growing number of deaths.

Learning Who the Victim Really Was

“I see your smile, how it should be, the color of your eyes when they are filled with life, your time on the beach, blowing out candles, Christmas at Grandma’s; oh you have a Maltese, too. I see that. I see you standing with your mom and dad in front of the sign to your college. . .”

Dr. Louis Profeta’s open letter on Linked In shows how to remain human by finding compassion in sad situations instead of distancing ourselves from them.

He clearly understands what John Donne said: “Any man’s death diminishes me because I am involved in mankind. . .”

Dr. Louis Profeta is a nationally-known doctor, writer, and essayist, author of the best-selling book entitled “The Patient in Room Nine Says He’s God.”