My Loved One Attempted Suicide. What Now?

The aftermath of an attempted suicide can be fraught with tension, emotion and fear. Loved ones may be afraid to talk about the incident, fearing the conversation will bring up the person’s desire to end their life again. Friends and family may be terrified, constantly afraid that the person will try another time. However, avoiding the person or conversations regarding their health will only further isolate them.

When a person attempts suicide, their loved ones often feel helpless. Their family may feel like they desperately want to fix the situation, but they have no clue what to do or how to go about it. However, if friends and family can decide to see the attempted suicide as a health crisis, that may give them direction on how to respond.

Gestures of support that we would give to our loved ones who are experiencing a medical emergency may also be appropriate for survivors of attempted suicide. As society becomes more comfortable with taboo subjects such as death and suicide, we’re talking more about how to discuss these things. Don’t be afraid to tell your loved one that you want to support them and ask them what you can do to show your love. They may or may not have an answer for you at that time, but you will show them through your sincere inquiry that you want to help them in the way they want to be helped.

One of the biggest hurdles to stabilizing and strengthening mental health is the lingering feeling of shame a person in crisis may experience. Do not heap more shame upon them by allowing your own stigmatized thoughts of suicide to leak out in conversation. This is not the time to make their attempt about you. Asking questions, such as: “Don’t you love me?”; “Don’t you know how sad I’d be if you were gone?”; or “Isn’t our relationship strong enough?” may not be helpful. Their mental health crisis is not about you, but you can help them stay grounded by remaining steady during this crisis.

Dr. Christine Yu Moutier, the chief medical officer at the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, told CNN that “The first six months after an attempt or hospitalization are especially critical to a person’s recovery, and the risk for suicide remains elevated for the entire first year.” Think of these six months to a year as the recovery period after a major surgery or serious medical emergency. Treat your loved one with extra care as they work on their mental health and stability.

According to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention , there were an estimated 1.7 million attempted suicides in 2021. With this many people experiencing a mental health crisis, it is not uncommon to love someone who tries to end their life. Reading literature produced by AFSP and similar organizations is a good place to start when learning how to have important conversations and offer support to those who feel isolated and ashamed. Ignoring the person and their pain due to our own fear and apprehension will not help them.

Instead, we can hold them up by being there for them in times of loneliness. Though you love them greatly, you may not always be the best person for each stage of their recovery process. Just like with medical issues, your loved one may need a doctor’s care and a solid treatment plan. Walking alongside them on the journey can be the best form of support.

If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health, help is available. Dial or text 988 or visit 988lifeline.org for free and confidential support.