The Problems With Bereavement Leave in the United States

If you’ve ever experience acute grief, then you know how difficult it can be to get through daily tasks. The days following the death of a loved one are often described as a “brain fog,” and are sometimes a flurry of activity, planning memorial services and travel arrangements. 

And then what? And then you go back to work. Because bereavement leave is not federally mandated in the United States. With some state law exceptions, such as in Oregon, it is largely up to the employer whether it provides it, and if so, how much. The majority of companies do offer some form of bereavement leave, with the typical policy allowing for three days following the death of an immediate family member. This time is intended to allow for the logistics of managing a death, notifying family, arranging services, and so on. Unfortunately, it fails to account for the emotional and mental impact of grief.  

Grief in the Workplace

Research shows that acute grief can result in depression, loss of appetite, trouble sleeping, anxiety, and feelings of anger and bitterness. These are feelings that need to be processed, not suppressed. It can be difficult to navigate grieving and work at the same time, especially if one’s normal capacity for productivity is expected.

In 2018, Alex Millard wrote about her experience when her father unexpectedly died on her first day of a week-long vacation. She spent the week planning his funeral, and then when that week of vacation was over, she returned to work. 

“I was in shock, I had just barely begun to grieve. I began having panic attacks. I desperately needed a break. A month later I asked if there was any way I could have another few days of vacation, as I’d spent my previous vacation planning his sudden memorial and was emotionally and physically exhausted. I was told no.”

Returning to work before one is emotionally ready can have costs for both the individual and the company. Focus and concentration can suffer, and more errors are likely to occur. Further, resentment may build in those who feel unsupported by their employer. But adequate bereavement leave and support of an employee’s well being can have positive, lasting impacts on their engagement and productivity as well as on workplace culture. 

Improved Bereavement Leave Can Be Better For Everyone Involved

And some companies are beginning to recognize this. There’s the uplifting story of Laura Madaio, who suddenly lost her father, and whose employer at the time didn’t have a bereavement policy. He offered three weeks off. And in 2018, Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg announced the company would be increasing its bereavement leave up to as much as four weeks following the death of an immediate family member. She cited her recent experience with the sudden death of her husband for the change. Mastercard, Airbnb, Adobe, General Mills, and SurveyMonkey followed suit shortly thereafter. 

These are great strides for the discussion of death, grief and bereavement. Hopefully, with more businesses recognizing the need for adequate time for bereavement leave and with some bereavement policy reform, no employee will fear losing their job because of grief.