Tag Archives: Funny Quotes about Life

“I believe my house is haunted. Every time I look in my mirror, a crazy old lady stands in front of me so I can’t see my reflection.”

-Anonymous

“If no one knows when a person is going to die, how can we say he died prematurely?”

-George Carlin

“Old people at weddings always poke me and said ‘you’re next.’ So I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.”

- Anonymous

“Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act.”

- Truman Capote

“For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow…but phone calls taper off.”

- Johnny Carson

“Death: ‘THERE ARE BETTER THINGS IN THE WORLD THAN ALCOHOL, ALBERT.’ Albert: ‘Oh, yes, sir. But alcohol sort of compensates for not getting them.'”

- Terry Pratchett

Tag Archives: Funny Quotes about Life

“I believe my house is haunted. Every time I look in my mirror, a crazy old lady stands in front of me so I can’t see my reflection.”

“If no one knows when a person is going to die, how can we say he died prematurely?”

“Old people at weddings always poke me and said ‘you’re next.’ So I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.”

“Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act.”

“For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow…but phone calls taper off.”

“Death: ‘THERE ARE BETTER THINGS IN THE WORLD THAN ALCOHOL, ALBERT.’ Albert: ‘Oh, yes, sir. But alcohol sort of compensates for not getting them.'”

Tag Archives: Funny Quotes about Life

“I believe my house is haunted. Every time I look in my mirror, a crazy old lady stands in front of me so I can’t see my reflection.”

“If no one knows when a person is going to die, how can we say he died prematurely?”

“Old people at weddings always poke me and said ‘you’re next.’ So I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.”

“Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act.”

“For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow…but phone calls taper off.”

“Death: ‘THERE ARE BETTER THINGS IN THE WORLD THAN ALCOHOL, ALBERT.’ Albert: ‘Oh, yes, sir. But alcohol sort of compensates for not getting them.'”