Tag Archives: Funny Quotes

“The idea is to die young as late as possible.”

- Ashley Montagu

“I wish, when I was first born, the first thing I said was, ‘Quote’ so the last thing I said before I died would be, ‘Unquote.'”

- Steven Wright

“My uncle’s dying wish — he wanted me on his lap. He was in the electric chair.”

- Rodney Dangerfield

“We don’t understand death. And the proof of this is that we give dead people a pillow. I mean hey…I think if you can’t stretch out and get some solid rest at that point…I don’t see how bedding accessories really make the difference.”

- Jerry Seinfeld

“Most people are dead. Did you know that? It’s true, out of all the people that ever were, almost all of them are dead.”

-- Louis C.K.

“According to most studies, people’s number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you’re better off in the casket than doing the eulogy.”

- Jerry Seinfeld

Tag Archives: Funny Quotes

“The idea is to die young as late as possible.”

“I wish, when I was first born, the first thing I said was, ‘Quote’ so the last thing I said before I died would be, ‘Unquote.'”

“My uncle’s dying wish — he wanted me on his lap. He was in the electric chair.”

“We don’t understand death. And the proof of this is that we give dead people a pillow. I mean hey…I think if you can’t stretch out and get some solid rest at that point…I don’t see how bedding accessories really make the difference.”

“Most people are dead. Did you know that? It’s true, out of all the people that ever were, almost all of them are dead.”

“According to most studies, people’s number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you’re better off in the casket than doing the eulogy.”

Tag Archives: Funny Quotes

“The idea is to die young as late as possible.”

“I wish, when I was first born, the first thing I said was, ‘Quote’ so the last thing I said before I died would be, ‘Unquote.'”

“My uncle’s dying wish — he wanted me on his lap. He was in the electric chair.”

“We don’t understand death. And the proof of this is that we give dead people a pillow. I mean hey…I think if you can’t stretch out and get some solid rest at that point…I don’t see how bedding accessories really make the difference.”

“Most people are dead. Did you know that? It’s true, out of all the people that ever were, almost all of them are dead.”

“According to most studies, people’s number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you’re better off in the casket than doing the eulogy.”