“If I Carry My Father,” by Marjorie Saiser

A father carrying his daughter, who will one day carry him.

I hope it is a little more
than color of hair
or the dimple or cheekbones
if he’s ever here in the space I inhabit
the room I walk in
the boundaries and peripheries
I hope it’s some kindness he believed in
living on in cell or bone
maybe some word or action
will float close to the surface
within my reach
some good will rise when I need it
a hard dense insoluble shard
will show up
and carry on.

In “If I Carry My Father,” Nebraskan poet Marjorie Saiser contemplates the parts of her father she hopes will live on in her own words and actions. Rather than focusing on the superficial — the “color of hair,” or “cheekbones” — she contemplates the positive aspects of his personality: his kindness; “some good” that “will rise when I need it.” And in doing so, she asks each of us to consider how we’ve been shaped by those who’ve come before us; how the best parts of them might continue to live through us, even after they’re gone.

Marjorie Saiser Explores the Nature of Love

Poet Marjorie Saiser
Credit: Kearney Hub/Courtesy of Marjorie Saiser

Saiser, who has said that she writes “to find out, to stay green, to keep learning,” is the author of numerous collections of poetry. Many of her poems focus on relationships with parents, and other relatives who have shaped us — such as “Remember Your Mother-in-Law,” part of her forthcoming collection “The Track the Whales Make: New & Selected Poems,” to be published this year. “No poet in this country is better at writing about love,” former U.S. Poet Laureate Ted Kooser said of Saiser. “And, in a sense, all of her poems are in some way about love.”

Those curious about the nature and meaning of love — and particularly, how it might take new form in the wake of a loved one’s death — will enjoy pondering “If I Carry My Father.” While the poem is itself a contemplation, it offers rich opportunities for further musing — in what she means by “a hard dense insoluble shard.” In what we choose to carry, and what we leave behind. In how we hold each other, and ourselves.