I Answer the Question Most Often Asked: What Made You Start SevenPonds?

Today is the third anniversary of SevenPonds when we first began by launching our blog. So many people ask me the same question – what caused you to get into this topic of end-of-life/death and dying? So today I repost the story of my progressive grandmother’s death, over two decades ago, that led me to where I am today.

The title is: Dying is Not Always a Sad Process, My grandmother’s glorious last hurrah.

My mother and my grandmother in Florida

We think of dying as something sad — a path paved only with despair. But my Swiss grandmother Ida taught me otherwise. One day, at age 78, she awoke with difficulty swallowing. My mother took her to the doctor, who fed a scope down her throat and into her stomach. There it was: a tumor. The doctor diagnosed Ida’s stomach cancer, telling my mother she had but five months remaining.

When they arrived home that day, my grandmother turned to my mom and said, “I don’t want to die in a hospital; I don’t want surgery… I don’t even want an X-ray. I’m ready to go.” Well Ida had it her way and died with great panache.

 “I don’t want to die in a hospital; I don’t want surgery… I don’t even want an X-ray. I’m ready to go.”

That strong woman got on the phone and called all her friends and relatives to announce the news. She invited everyone to visit. And over the next few months, everyone came. My grandmother adored the company. She told funny stories and laughed with everyone around her. They brought her gifts like it was her birthday party — only instead, it was her dying party. Ida put on her gifts, hamming it up in the funny t-shirts and hats everyone knew she’d appreciate. She always had a love for socializing, and the flow of people coming to see her made Ida giddy with delight. This was her big moment, and she shined as belle of the ball.

Put simply, she had the time of her life.

The garden where her cremation ashes were scattered

Don’t get me wrong. Of course there was sadness and a bitter end, watching death take over my grandmother. But with the help of her hospice, she suffered as little as possible. The deep dreams induced by drugs slowly became one long endless sleep.

“I had a great life. And now it’s your turn to live yours.”

The last time Ida and I spoke to each other was over the phone. As I sat in my apartment in New York City, in the thrust of beginning my shiny new life, she lay in Florida — withered away by cancer, ready to let go of life. she had such an uplifting attitude. Her very last words to me were with full conviction and no remorse: “I had a great life. And now it’s your turn to live yours.” It was so positive, generous and inspiring. The memory of her voice saying these words plays over and over again in my daily life. A reminder to live each day to it’s fullest.

Sometimes people are truly ready to go and want to make the best of it. Ida is now scattered among the flora on the hill by Seven Ponds lakes in Michigan.

You may also enjoy other posts I wrote:

• We Euthanize Dying Animals, Don’t We? My grandmother starved to death as the aid-in-dying (formerly assisted-suicide) debates continues. 
• How Did SevenPonds Come To Be? We revisit our beginning.
• About SevenPonds: How my Swiss born grandparents taught me about the natural cycle of life.