“My Immortal” by Evanescence

Capturing the rawness and persistence of grief in music isn’t easy. Many artists try; many come close, and a few hit the mark. “My Immortal” by Evanescence is definitely in the latter category. The song is hauntingly beautiful — the lyrics perfectly capture the enduring nature of grief, while singer Amy Lee’s plaintiff vocals speak to the exquisite pain of losing someone you love.

Amy Lee sings “My Immortal”
Credit: Silvio Tanaka from Sao Paulo, Brazil via Wikimedia Commons

Written by Lee (real name Amy Lynn Hartzler) and Evanescence guitarist Ben Moody and keyboardist David Hodges, “My Immortal” was featured on the band’s debut album, “Fallen,” in 2003. The first verse sets the stage for the rest of the song, with lyrics that expertly illustrate the many conflicting emotions that comprise what we simplistically label “grief” — sadness, exhaustion, anger, self-recrimination, and most importantly, a desperate desire for things to be as they were.

I’m so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
‘Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won’t leave me alone.

The pre-chorus reinforces the depth of these emotion and the rawness of the pain. And then, in the chorus, the song takes us to the place where love once existed and lives on still — unchanged and “immortal” despite the separation imposed by death.

You cried I’d wipe away all of your tears
When you’d scream I’d fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me.

Anyone who has experienced the loss of a loved one will relate to these words and to the powerful sentiment behind them. Grief is, in fact, the flip side of love. It is the depth and breadth of our love for the people we are closest to that causes us to suffer so greatly when they are gone. Yet, in the end, it is the love we feel for those we have lost that leads us to a place of healing, where memories can be visited with tenderness rather than raw, searing, pain.

But that deliverance, as “My Immortal” reminds us, takes time. And in the interim, it may well seem that life holds nothing but pain.

You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
Now I’m bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me.

“My Immortal” is not an uplifting song, but it is beautiful and truthful and raw. It might not be the best choice for a memorial service, because it is so terribly sad. But it is a perfect ballad for someone who is suffering the ravages of grief and needs to have their feelings validated and to know that they are not alone.

Watch Lee perform “My Immortal” in the video below. You can find the full lyrics to the song here.