”Gentle Willow: A Story for Children About Dying” by Joyce C. Mills

“Gentle Willow: A Story For Children About Dying” is a beautifully conceived little book written for children dealing with terminal illness. There are a number of wonderful books out there to help explain the dying process to children. But “Gentle Willow” is unique in that it’s specifically written for children who have terminal illnesses and for the children close to them.

Author Joyce C. Mills spins a sensitive story about three friends: Amanda the squirrel and her two tree friends, Little Tree and Gentle Willow. One day, Amanda is climbing up Gentle Willow’s trunk and notices that Gentle Willow has fallen ill.  Amanda assures Gentle Willow that Gentle Willow will feel better tomorrow. But, Mills writes, “many tomorrows came and Gentle Willow did not feel better.” 

Little Tree and Amanda grow concerned about their friend and call on the tree wizards, Fixump and Imageen, to help Gentle Willow. Fixump and Imageen assess Gentle Willow’s condition and recognize that Gentle Willow has developed a disease that cannot be cured. The two tree wizards explain to an indignant and distraught Amanda that they can administer tree sap to help Gentle Willow feel stronger and herbs to help her feel better, but they cannot make her all better.

When Amanda asks what will happen to Gentle Willow, Fixump and Imageen explain that Gentle Willow will start to look different as time passes. Preparing children for the progression of a terminal illness requires preparing them for the physical changes they’ll witness as the person with the illness begins to deteriorate physically. Fixump and Imageen appear to be well versed in the art of explaining the journey of terminal illness.  They explain that there are things each of Gentle Willow’s friends can do for Gentle Willow: They can sing songs and tell stories, and each of these will “help her feel a special medicine called love.” The tree wizards comfort Amanda and Little Tree, telling them that while they won’t be able to see Gentle Willow the way they see her now, they have been given special gifts called memories that will help them continue to recognize her in things like songs and the wind as time goes on.

“Gentle Willow” explains serious illness in language children can understand
(Credit: essentialkids.com.au)

One day, Gentle Willow tells Amanda that she is scared—she doesn’t want to change form; she wants to stay a tree. Amanda, at first at a loss for words, notices the yellow butterflies flying through the air. She comforts Gentle Willow with the story of the caterpillars changing form to become the yellow butterflies who have flown to Gentle Willow’s branches when they needed a rest.

This wonderfully illustrated, simple, and sensitive story touches on the range of emotions children (like adults) experience when confronting death:  anger, fear, sadness, compassion, acceptance. It teaches children simple, loving ways they can show up for their terminally ill friend.  It teaches about the comforting power of love and songs and stories, and about the ways our loved ones live on through memories.