“Intoxicated By My Illness” by Anatole Broyard

“Intoxicated By My Illness” is a collection of essays by Anatole Broyard. They all focus on an aspect of either death or serious illness. Broyard wrote three of the essays included during the final 14 months of his life after he’d been diagnosed with metastatic prostate cancer. (He wrote two of the other essays earlier in life, and one small part of the book contains excerpts from his personal journal during the time of his cancer diagnosis.)

The writings were compiled by Broyard’s wife, Alexandra, after Anatole died in October 1990. The eponymous essay thrusts you immediately into the mind of a man who had a distinct “style” (as he called it) of dealing with his illness. Sarcasm and wit comprise his arsenal, and much of the included works are tinged with humor.

“So much of a writer’s life consists of assumed suffering, rhetorical suffering,” he writes, “that I felt something like relief, even elation, when the doctor told me that I had cancer of the prostate.”

Broyard feels a sense of “relief” that, as a writer, he’s “finally” able to suffer, which many people see as a common theme or even necessity among literary types. He mentions how his need to write and create became even stronger after the diagnosis.

To say that one is elated to hear that they have cancer is far beyond any normal reaction. It’s safe to say he was being sarcastic, and it’s in this vein that a lot of his thoughts are conveyed. In many passages, he speaks of how his illness is even comical, particularly when it comes to his incontinence issues.

The Influence of Literature

Anatole Broyard
Credit: newyorker.com

Broyard wrote book reviews and articles for The New York Times for the last 19 years of his life. He was a daily book critic and was at one point an editor for The New York Times Book Review. It’s abundantly clear throughout “Intoxicated By My Illness” that books had a profound impact on Broyard’s life. He even opened a bookstore in Greenwich Village following World War II.

And so Broyard uses countless literary references throughout the essays included in “Intoxicated By My Illness.” He compares many of his thoughts and meditations to those of both fictional characters and non-fiction works about death and serious illness.

He cites passages and ideas from many preeminent authors from the realm of death and dying literature. He quotes people like Elisabeth Kubler-Ross and Ernest Becker. Broyard doesn’t always agree with the writer he discusses, but it is without question that he was extremely well-read. “Intoxicated By My Illness” would certainly appeal to anyone who appreciates and enjoys literature.

“The Patient Examines the Doctor”

Perhaps the most compelling essay included in the collection is “The Patient Examines the Doctor.” It’s a brilliant piece in which Broyard describes what for him would be the “perfect” doctor. Of course, that is almost an impossibility. But Broyard makes a very heartfelt plea for an ideal way in which doctors should get to know their patients.

He calls for a doctor to at least attempt to get to know the person, not just their illness.

“Just as he orders blood tests and bone scans of my body,” he writes, “I’d like my doctor to scan me, to grope for my spirit as well as my prostate. Without some such recognition, I am nothing but my illness.”

Much of “The Patient Examines the Doctor” gets philosophical about the relationship between patient and doctor. For Broyard, being seriously ill was as much about the revelations of one’s soul as it was the loss of physical well being. And he certainly does not shy away from literary metaphors.

Broyard says he wants a doctor who’s both a great physician and also a kind of “metaphysician” as well. It’s not just the physical self that is ill but also the philosophy and well-being of the soul that need healing.

“Intoxicated By My Illness” is a fantastic look into the psyche of a literary man faced with cancer. Anatole Broyard’s wit and sarcasm play a vital role in his portrayal of facing his mortality and the plethora of emotions that conjured up for him. It’s a very readable first-hand account of living with a life-threatening illness with an abundance of Broyard’s musings on life and death included as well.