Our Tip of the Month
October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month — a time to remember the thousands of infants who die before being born or shortly after birth each year. Designated in 1988 by then President Ronald Reagan, the initiative honors pregnancy and infant loss in all its forms — miscarriage, stillbirth, ectopic pregnancy, and sudden, unexpected infant death.
If you are a parent who has lost an infant, it may be difficult to think of an appropriate way to memorialize your child, especially if they died in utero or were stillborn. But remembering your infant and honoring their life — however brief that life was — is an important part of grieving. What’s more, a tangible memorial gives bereaved parents, siblings, grandparents, and other family members a place to remember and to share their feelings about the loss. A memorial shadow box is a beautiful and sensitive way to accomplish these things.
How-to Suggestions
Creating a memorial shadow box for an infant is a personal journey. If your baby died early in your pregnancy, you may have few tangible items to remember them by. But that doesn’t mean you can’t create something that reminds you of that happy time. Perhaps you saved the results of your pregnancy test, a card that you sent to announce the pregnancy to family and friends, or a photo of your first ultrasound. All of these things have meaning, and can serve as poignant reminders that your child was once very much alive.
If your infant was stillborn or died shortly after birth, you probably have a few more items to choose from when assembling your memorial. Infant clothes; a pair of booties, a lock of hair, photos of your baby — anything that evokes your child’s memory can be a wonderful addition to the memorial box. You might also include the baby’s birth certificate or one or two condolence cards you received. If you chose to have your child cremated, a piece of memorial jewelry holding a small amount of the baby’s ashes would be appropriate as well.
Creating a memorial for a child who has died will never be an easy task. But the act of assembling a shadow box can bring comfort as well as tears. And someday, perhaps a long time from now, it will be a memorial that helps you remember the child you lost with more joy and less pain.