Our Monthly Tip: Offer Condolences That Honor Social Distancing

Credit: Daniel Krakan

Our Tip of the Month

Many people are grieving the loss of their loved ones or cut off from those with COVID-19 in the hospital while unable to receive physical condolences. Meanwhile, friends and family members are confronted with the challenge of how to express sympathy when visits aren’t permitted, hugs aren’t allowed and funerals are often limited to 10 people or less. Fortunately, there are a variety of methods — from the conventional to the quirky — that people can employ to come together with those they love in mourning.

A personal memorial ritual can help you support yourself as well as others.
Credit: Daria Lisovtsova

How-to Suggestions

Send flowers: Life-giving bouquets can express condolences while bringing color and joy to a challenging time. By finding a local florist to deliver, you can also support small businesses affected by the pandemic.

Make your own card: Break out the paints, markers, pastels or other craft supplies that may have been languishing at the back of your closet, and include photographs if you desire. A personalized sympathy card will inevitably be more meaningful, and may even assist in your own grieving process.

Perform a personal ritual: Decorate the grave of the person who died with flowers, read a poem by moonlight, or make a sand sculpture. Take photographs of your personal memorial and send them to the family to let them know their loved one has been acknowledged and remembered.

Plant something: Plant a tree or flower in memory of the person who died in a place that would be meaningful to them. Send photographs to the family to share this loving, commemorative act.

Deliver a meal: Cook a meal and leave it on the bereaved family’s doorstep, or have one delivered from a local restaurant.

Connect via technology: Reach out over telephone, FaceTime, email or Zoom to express your condolences. The New York Times recently published some tips on condolence letters to get you started.

Make a donation: Find out which causes or nonprofits were important to the individual, and make a donation in their name. This has the added benefit of providing financial support to an organization that may be struggling.

Follow up: Grief doesn’t have a timeline. As states continue to ease their restrictions, remember to reach out when it becomes possible to make contact again. Perhaps a shared walk outdoors or coffee-at-a-distance will, despite the face masks, be just what they need.