Our Monthly Tip: Preparing for New Traditions

Our Tip of the Month

Traditions are rituals or events that we typically share with those we love. Traditions serve to mark time and special events, and to connect us to one another. But what happens when a person you share those traditions with dies? You may find it difficult to uphold or participate in the “old” traditions, but skipping them altogether can feel as if you’re forgetting or pushing away the part your loved one played in them.

The process of creating new traditions, or, at the very least, creating a space where old traditions can change, can be meaningful and serve to memorialize your loved one in a new way. Here are some ideas for how to prepare for and create new traditions with your loved one in mind.

How-To Suggestions

Talk with your loved ones about how traditions may change. By talking about potential changes, you can create realistic expectations for all involved and work together to create a new tradition that is meaningful. Together, you can reflect on the meaning around your traditions and seek to recreate that essence with your loved one in mind.

For example, summer celebrations, picnics, vacations, or family reunions may pose a time of difficulty and unfamiliarity without your loved one. You may feel like you have to  pretend that nothing has changed. Instead, consider incorporating them into the event in a new way by cooking their favorite dish, bringing flowers to set in their place, or making a point to share memories of them in meaningful ways.

Creating new traditions can also be helpful in memorializing the anniversary of your loved one’s death, and can provide you with opportunities for connection and reflection.

For example, consider participating in an activity that they cared about. If they were interested in a particular cause (i.e. maybe they loved animals, cared about the arts, or enjoyed the outdoors) perhaps get the family together to volunteer for a day for one of those causes. If a particular place was meaningful to your loved one, consider holding a small ceremony at the location each year.

Creating new traditions can help you connect to others who are also grieving, but it doesn’t necessarily have to be done with others. Either way, it’s best to be prepared for old traditions to change in some way. The creation of new traditions can help that process. Further, they can be a meaningful and healing way for you to memorialize your loved one.