What to Do When Someone Dies

Everyday at SevenPonds we are working hard to research and expand our content to arm our readers with more information, guidance and choices on what to do when someone dies. Our daily deep dive allows a wide knowledge base of all possibilities above and beyond your typical understanding of simple funeral arrangements. Funeral directors tell us the most-asked question they receive from contemporary customers is for help through the full process after a death. There is a common misconception that a funeral home will help you with everything you need to do when someone dies, a funeral or memorial service is only one aspect of the process. I have assembled a list of what we believe are the most unique considerations you may want to opt for when someone dies:

1-   Letting Go of Your Dead Loved One: Today more people die at home than in a hospital. Currently there is a movement for family members to spend time with the body following a death to allow them to gracefully let go. There is no law that you need to immediately call a funeral director unless you want to. There is no limit to the amount of days you can keep a body at home. By hiring a Home Funeral Consultant, they can guide you through what is termed the “natural death care process.” They can be there with you to help wash and keep the body cool, as need be, in the comfort of your own home. This allows you time to let go and grieve. It is considered a loving and moving process to experience.

2-    Shop Cremation Services: When someone dies you have other options besides a funeral home to shop for cremation services; you can go to a cremation retailer or sometimes directly to a crematorium, which is typically located at a cemetery. A “cremation retailer” is a store only offering direct cremation and provides no rooms for viewing and/or memorial services, sells no coffins and has no cemetery. It’s no frills, less overhead and can offer a better price.

3-    Consider the Environment: For your funeral arrangements, you may want to consider the environmental impact of your decisions regarding everything from the type of disposition, to cremation vessels or shrouds, to socially responsible flowers.

4-    Know Your Funeral Laws: When shopping for disposition services, be aware that there is a federal law, “The Funeral Rule,” that provides guidelines that funeral homes must abide by when you shop for funeral arrangements. Additionally there is a national nonprofit organization called the Funeral Consumer Alliance that is available to help you with any disposition purchase concerns.

5-    Bypass Embalming: No matter what type of disposition you choose there is no law requiring embalming in any state. Be sure you request this.

6-    Witness the Cremation: Some crematoriums allow witnessing of the cremation that provides peace of mind for those family members who feel a need to witness the process. Some choose to sit for the approximate 2-½ hours to personally retrieve the ashes to take home. To be clear you only view the body being placed into the retort and then later the ashes taken out. Only certain service providers offer this and some will not let you stay the full time. Ask for what you need and shop around by phone.

7-    Rethink the Type of Service: Today there is a wide range of memorial services that can be creatively and custom tailored to suit the personality of the loved one. From the familiar memorial service, to a unique life celebration and/or full-on party, to a home funeral where the body is present while friends and family gather to say goodbye. Some are even toss a DeParty where the terminally ill throw their own farewell party to enjoy the pleasure of saying goodbye to friends and family and hearing their special farewell words.

8-    Hire a Celebrant: Celebrants specialize in helping you plan and officiate a service offering a spiritual facet as well.

9-    Have a Servive & Ash Scattering: You may elect to hold your gathering at a venue where guests can enjoy a meal and you can also hold a memorial service or celebration. Some venues even offer ash scattering on the grounds.

10-  Creatively Grieve: There are activities that help those who are grieving to heal, and a special one is to hand-make or have handmade a memorial quilt or wall-hanging of the clothes of the loved one you lost. The process of selecting and creatively assembling the clothes is not only healing but the quilt also becomes a lifelong memory gift.

We hope these tips have helped you!