Love and Death, Carried by Fire

“Let not their dust be parted for their two hearts in life were singe-hearted.” — Purified by Fire

Our world is always changing; and today, the scattering of cremation ashes onto the open winds ritualizes the loving act of letting go. This merging of our loved departed with the natural environment has become a popular American practice. It seems scattering cremation ashes is a method we use to display deep affection — a loving parting.

Almost entirely dissipated are the days of traditional graveside attendance, followed by the departure of attendees, who leave the casket to be lowered in isolation. This reticence of disposition is now being replaced by the desire to participate and share in the end-of-life experience. Today, we comfortably grasp handfuls of cremains and toss them in the air to symbolically celebrate our loved one’s life.

Green burial (the burial of a non-embalmed body, simply wrapped in a shroud or placed in a pine box) has begun to take hold, yet in the U.S., less than 5% currently choose this means of leaving the world. Other lesser-known alternatives fall under the radar — cryonics, for example. I believe these options will grow in popularity as our society takes more control over their death.

According to Stephen Prothero, we are Purified by Fire, as cremation has become the choice of disposition for the modern person. The scattering of cremation ashes represents a willingness to comingle our bodies, and those of our loved ones, back into the world, with no need for a symbol of permanence. Prothero muses that we are “embracing a new style of ritual, characterized by simplicity, spontaneity, informality, flexibility, improvisation, participation, and (above all) personalization.” CANA statistics support this; the U.S. cremation rate is at 40% and continues to rise as scattering spreads across the nation.

My grandparents died a few years apart, and their remains were secretly scattered within their flower garden. I like to think about how, over time, the wind further swept their ashes to the tall white pines and blue spruces, as they became one with the land on which they toiled during life. Perhaps they made it down to Seven Ponds, where they spent their summers.

Where and how someone chooses to be scattered is of great significance to each of us. This disposition method is simply reflective of life today. Purified by fire sums it up well: “scattering the ashes to the wind wonderfully exemplifies the belief that the real person has already passed into immortality. He or she is to be remembered spiritually, not attended to materially.” The act of cremation and scattering provides us a means to become one with the earth. Death ritualized by fire is a way to love beyond death and onto eternity.