What are your End-of-life Options?

Many years ago, I was at the New York City Gift Show and I happened to mention my knowledge of the end-of-life industry to a woman at a booth. Her eyes widened and a look of grave concern overtook her face as she inquired about the average volume of cremation ashes produced by cremating a body. She explained that her brother had been murdered the year before, and she had expected to receive more ashes. She was visibly haunted by the possibility that not all of his remains had been returned to her.

I told her the average amount of cremation ashes is equivalent to a five pound bag of sugar. I watched as a sense of peace washed over this woman.

We oftentimes find it difficult to discuss the end-of-life — and so there exist many misconceptions about our options and what to expect. I just had a conversation with the SevenPonds team about the difference between an urn (open top and decorative or garden) and a cremation urn (used for cremain ashes). We are all learning, even myself; and while we continue to exchange information and demystify the end-of-life through SevenPonds, it will further empower each of us to make the right end-of-life decisions.

Over the years, I have drawn up a list of what I consider to be the most common misconceptions about the end-of-life. I hope you find my answers helpful!

1. Must I purchase a casket if I chose cremation?

No state or local laws require a casket for cremation. Most states simply require some sort of container, such as a cardboard box. Your funeral home will discuss your options with you.

2. Is embalming legally mandated?

In most states, embalming is rarely required by law, and never within the first 24 hours. “The Funeral Rule” states that a funeral home must disclose in writing that embalming is not legally necessary, except in some special cases.

3. Do most services take place in a funeral home?

This is currently experiencing a shift, as the U.S. cremation rate has reached 42%, with 13 states’ cremation rates higher than 50% (and many metropolitan locations as high as 92%). People are choosing to scatter ashes with life celebrations or memorial services held in nontraditional locations meaningful to the family.

4. Is a funeral home my only option when shopping for cremation services?

In many geographical locations, you have the option to purchase cremation services directly from a crematorium or “storefront,” where only the cremation service is provided.

5. When someone passes away, is it legally required to immediately call and have the body removed?

In most states, it is legal to keep the deceased at home so friends and family have the option of sitting with the body for a period of time before calling a funeral home to remove the body.

6. Can I scatter cremation ashes anywhere I choose?

Scattering ashes must be done in accordance with local laws. Most laws label ashes as human remains and forbid you to dispose of human remains on public land and inland bodies of water. If you should decide to scatter ashes at sea, you must be at least three miles from the coast and report the disposal to the EPA. You may scatter on private land with permission. In general, you should scatter as you chose, but with knowledge of the laws and away from the public eye.

7. Must I purchase a casket if I opt for green burial?

Whether or not the law requires a body to be buried in a container varies from state to state, although generally the cemetery determines this. While there are usually no restrictions on the type of coffin used for natural burial, most green burial sites encourage the use of environmentally friendly caskets made from pine or wicker. A simple cotton shroud is another common choice.

8. Once someone is removed for cremation, can I not see him or her again?

Most cremation providers allow immediate family members to briefly view the deceased prior to cremation. There are also crematoriums which provide witnessing services, where loved ones can view the body as it goes into the cremation retort. Most people leave once the body has entered the retort, but some elect to stay the entire duration of cremation so they can witness the ashes put into a container for them to take home.

For answers to more questions about funeral homes and the law, contact the Funeral Consumers Alliance.