“Remember” by Christina Rossetti

Photo Credit: myheartramblings

Christina Rossetti’s “Remember” took me somewhat by surprise. The final message in the poem is that, in a sense, ignorance is bliss; Rossetti feels that not thinking about a loss and therefore not feeling the emotional pain that comes with it is the better course. While I see her point, there’s no denying that it’s extremely difficult to push something so all-consuming out of your mind. Nevertheless, “Remember” advises us to think of our loved ones after they are gone, but not to let the memories sadden us.

The poet opens, “Remember me when I am gone away,/Gone far away into the silent land;/When you can no more hold me by the hand…” (1-3). It’s not that all memories should be set aside; obviously it’s important to reflect on the people that have been a part of our lives. But, according to Rossetti, it’s also essential that we maintain a realistic viewpoint. She writes:

Remember me when no more day by day

You tell me of our future that you plann’d:

Only remember me; you understand

It will be late to counsel then or pray. (5-8)

After her death, the poet wishes to be thought of, but only that: as she says, “only remember me” (7). There is nothing that can be done about the loss, and she wants her family and friends to bear this in mind. This is why she directly addresses the statement “It will be late to counsel then or pray” (8) to them, with the simple words, “you understand” (7). She doesn’t want anyone to waste time wishing she could come back, since such actions accomplish nothing, and merely make everyone more miserable. Rossetti wants her loved ones to keep looking forward, not to remain stuck in the past.

Christina Rossetti

What’s most important is that the people she cares about achieve happiness again. She would rather they were in a good place than depressed and gloomy. She says as much when she states, “Yet if you should forget me for a while/And afterwards remember, do not grieve…” (9-10). Whenever she comes back into the minds of her family and friends, Rossetti wants the memories to bring cheer, not sorrow. She explains in the poem’s final lines:

For if the darkness and corruption leave

A vestige of the thoughts that once I had,

Better by far you should forget and smile

Than that you should remember and be sad. (11-14)

Rossetti would rather not be thought of at all than to be remembered often, if the recollection brings sadness with it. She cares about the well-being of each of the people that were in her life, just as they cared for her. She doesn’t want them to be morose, even if she is not going to be around to see it. This thoughtfulness on her part is what makes the poem so touching and so relatable. We can’t avoid grief after a loss, but we can manage it.

*Christina Rossetti Photo Credit: spellerweb.net

Related Reading:

• Find out more about Christina Rossetti
• “Sing No Sad Songs for Me” (SevenPonds)