“Untitled” (I will go simply) by Tess Nealon Raskin

Credit: James Wheeler

I will go simply.
Like moths peeling from yellowed screens,
like a dirty plate slipping under the grey water of the sink,
I will wait for my time.
Not under hot, energy efficient lights
and white sheets as flocks of sobs press like hail against
my aging skin, no, not by the hands of
teddy-bear, plastic flowers,
wall cross, Christmas ornament
always-in-our-hearts angels.
My father’s father writhed inside his head
as we kept him on drips and medicines,
his eyes closed, long gone
and I felt myself join in a throng
of tired, inherited tears.
When I have learned all there is to learn,
I will fix myself a warm, sweet drink in my favorite glass
soften my thoughts and walk into the water
to feel the moonlight on my skin
for the poetry of my body to give out quietly
out of the blue, and into the black.

This untitled piece by teen poet Tess Nealon Raskin explores her aversion to her grandfather’s sanitized hospital death and her desire to die differently; to “go simply.” She contrasts the glare of “hot, energy efficient lights” with the possibility of walking into water under the moonlight. Raskin has not yet “learned all there is to learn,” but she’s seen enough to know that she doesn’t want to experience drawn-out, hospitalized suffering.

To Go Simply — Not Aways so Simple?

Tess Nealon Raskin
Credit: Girls Write Now

While this poem may offer respite, comfort and relief to those choosing options such as Medical Aid in Dying, it also retains a certain optimism around the simplicity of the choices we will face – many of which are not predictable. It may also contain some assumptions: Raskin’s dying grandfather was described as “writhing inside his head,” but he could also have been heavily sedated.

Regardless, the poem is a unique take on death from a teen who is most likely still viewing it as a distant event. Her comparison of death to moths and dirty dishes reveals a level of acceptance that views it as an ordinary, everyday occurence.

Raskin’s poem was a semifinalist in a 2021 teen writing contest held by Brooklyn Public Library, and appeared in its resulting journal. It was also highlighted in a curated list of poems representing the seven stages of grief.